An Erotica Guide
By continuing to browse this web site you are certifying your agreement to its terms of use; please read them if you have not done so already.
Pornography can be one of the delights of life: it can be arousing, it can be fun figuring out what kinds you like, it can sometimes be a way for partners to get ideas for things they might like to try together, and some of it is good for a laugh. Pornography can enhance masturbation, and masturbation can be used to either learn to reach orgasm more easily or to learn greater orgasmic control.
The problem is that not all porn is well-done. And, unlike mainstream movies and books, typically neither your morning newspaper nor everyday conversation will point you towards the better stuff. As such our hope is that the following guide saves you time.
This guide was last updated on December 8, 2008, and is divided into separate sections for erotic videos, books, comics, audio recordings, and free web sites.
How to select and watch adult videos...
How to rent adult videos...
For most people, rent-by-mail will be the most comfortable and convenient way to rent adult videos. As it stands AdultDVDEmpire appears to offer the widest selection, and we were pleased with the quality of their service the time we tried it. All links below are to the AdultDVDEmpire rental page for that title.
Het videos which may be good choices for couples
Het videos with a more "artistic" or "serious" edge
Het videos focusing on the best scenes from just one actress
Note: These "Deep Inside" films often features scenes with unusual amounts of chemistry, or scenes with the actresses' real-life partners, since the actress is picking their favorite scenes.
Het videos with educational overtones
Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women 1 is a good example: it's technically porn, but was created by a sex educator with the intent of also serving an educational role through demonstrating realistic technique. Featuring Tristan Taormino, Nina Hartley, and Chloe.
Het "all-sex" or "gonzo" series
Note: "gonzo" indicates an informal filming style, with the person behind the camera becoming a part of the film. They're often a lot of fun, with sex that's a bit more real and less staged, even if production budgets are lower. A good strategy is to sample one film from each series until you find a series whose director you like.
Het videos featuring an all-female cast
Note: "all-female" doesn't necessarily mean "lesbian" - basically all of the films in this section were still created primarily with a heterosexual male audience in mind. There do exist films made by and for a lesbian audience (for example those created by S.I.R. Video), but unfortunately AdultDVDEmpire doesn't carry any of them at this time, and I don't currently know any other way to rent them by mail. For this kind of film you'll need to purchase rather than rent, in other words.
Bisexual
Note: Essentially all het videos will feature at least one scene with two women - the term "bisexual" when applied to adult videos simply means that the m en will have sex with each other as well.
Gay
It's hard to go wrong when picking a film directed by the the famed Chi Chi LaRue. Another option is to use www.gayvnawards.com to find last year's award winners, then search for them by name.
For men-only videos featuring serious BDSM play, those offered by Shotgun Video (although quite extreme) are some of the best-regarded.
BDSM
Note: You may also wish to check out BDSM education films, which may feature more realistic play.
For additional suggestions and reviews...
See either The Ultimate Guide to Adult Videos, or the more recent The Smart Girl's Guide to Porn, both by Violet Blue.
If you're watching with your partner...
Here are a few ideas, based on suggestions from Violet Blue's book:
For waiting until after the film to have sex: Don't be surprised if the sex is hotter than normal, even if the film isn't that great - just leave the remote within easy reach so that either of you can fast forward through ny material which turns him or her off. Another alternative (frustrating but in a fun way) is to watch the entire film without touching yourselves or each other, and when the video is over to write down a list of your favorite parts, or things you wish you'd seen in the film, and later on swap your lists for play.
For having sex while watching the film: One easy way to do this is watch the film with your hands in each other's laps, under a blanket: this can be especially hot if you make a "rule" that you can only touch each other, but not yourselves. On the other hand, if intercourse is what you'll prefer, then one possibility is for one partner to straddle the other while facing the TV, and another possibility is doggie-style facing the TV (particularly comfortable if the receiving partner has some big pillows to lie on, so their weight isn't all on their arms). Of course, you can also take turns giving each other oral sex, while the receiving partner watches.
For making a "contest" out of it: Play a game such as tennis or cards. Then watch a movie. During the movie, the partner who won the game gets a vibrator to play with (or can touch themselves as much as they like) while the loser is forbidden from even using their hands. Alternatively, let the winner pick a scene from the film to act out together afterwards.
If you prefer your erotica in the form of the written word, then you're in luck: you'll find a wider range of material, and often higher quality material, than in almost any other genre of porn.
Let's say you aren't as interested in literary "art" as you are in erotic novels which provide reliable masturbation fodder. For that, the following are the leading publishers (where each link will take you to an amazon.com page describing that publisher's most popular titles):
or or for het men's erotica, for het women's erotica, or for gay, lesbian, and bi erotica (though please note that Alyson publishes far more than just erotica). With Blue Moon Books their Best of the Erotic Reader collection might be a good way to figure out which of their authors you like, while the equivalents for Black Lace are their collections.Let's say you'd like a fair amount of "stroke" material, but also wouldn't mind a few erotic stories thrown in the mix that either through literary arts, memorable characters, or thought-provoking situations engage your analytical mind as well. Or, let's say you know what you like, and would like to find a collection of stories specific to your preferences. In that case, this section is for you.
Something for Everyone: The Best American Erotica 2007
Stories for Couples: Sweet Life: Erotic Fantasies for Couples
Bisexual: Best Bisexual Women's Erotica and The Best of Both Worlds: Bisexual Erotica
Lesbian: Best Lesbian Erotica 2007
Growing Older: Ripe Fruit: Erotica for Well-Seasoned Lovers
Science Fiction: The Bachelor Machine and Erotic Fantastic: The Best of Circlet Press 1992-2002 (note: Circlet Press specializes in sci-fi/fantasy erotica)
BDSM/Fetish: Anne Rice's The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty, Beauty's Punishment, and Beauty's Release. Carol Queen's The Leather Daddy and The Femme. Kim Corum's Breaking the Girl. Molly Weatherfield's Carrie's Story. Laura Antoniou's The Marketplace, The Slave, The Trainer, The Academy, and The Reunion. Also the anthologies Best Bondage Erotica 2 and Best Fetish Erotica.
Ultra-Short Short Stories: Five Minute Erotica and Down and Dirty: 69 Super Sexy Short-Shorts
Stories Told in the First-Person: Hers: 30 Erotic Tales Written Just for Her and His: 30 Erotic Tales Written Just for Him
Female Perspective: Best Women's Erotica 2007
Romance: Secrets: The Best in Women's Erotic Romance - Volume 15
Sex Toys: Sex Toy Tales
Food and Sex: Juicy Erotica
The novel The Butcher: And Other Erotica by Alina Reyes has received literary acclaim, while The Mammoth Book of Erotica is probably the best collection of erotic short stories which includes non-genre writers.
These books don't contain fiction, rather they contain vignettes from real peoples' real lives. They may be hit and miss as erotica, but can definitely serve as ways to gain a few insights into sexual orientations other than your own.
Lesbian: Early Embraces III: More True-life Stories of Women Describing Their First Lesbian Experience and Up All Night: Adventures in Lesbian Sex
Gay: My First Time: Gay Men Describe Their First Same-Sex Experience - Volume 4
Right now the three best erotic comic artists are Phil Foglio, Colleen Coover, and Michael Manning: it's all fantastic stuff, and some of my favorite erotica of any kind.
Basically, you'd probably prefer Phil Foglio's pansexual work (the XXXenophile Collection volumes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6) or Colleen Coover's all-female work (the Small Favors volumes 1 and 2) if you want something sexy and lighthearted, and you'd probably prefer Michael Manning's work (either the four-part series The Spider Garden, Hydrophidian, In a Metal Web, and In a Metal Web II, or else the stand-alone and more het-focused Tranceptor: The Way Station, or his collections Amerotica and Cathexis, or his art retrospective Inamorata) if you want something more stylized and exotic.
We hope this form of erotica grows in popularity, because it's a lot of fun. As it stands one of the best examples of audio CD's featuring the sounds of real-life sex is Encounters Erotica. Also, a company called Passion Press specializes in producing recordings of actors reading erotic stories: if that sounds like the kind of thing you'd enjoy, then you'll be pleased to learn audible.com carries several Passion Press titles. If you're not sure whether this is the sort of thing you'd enjoy, then you might want to check out Violet Blue's free podcast Open Source Sex, which in addition to interesting news, sex tips, reviews, and interviews, also features readings of short stories by leading erotic authors (of the early episodes the ones to try are 1, 3, 4, 6, and 7 if you're interested in stories rather than interviews or news).
Basically, the unique thing about erotic audio recordings is that you can listen to them via headphones in almost any situation and nobody has to know :)
For a browseable lifetime supply of written porn, created mostly by non-professionals, see www.asstr.org (though please be aware that you will probably need to sort through a LOT of stuff that isn't to your taste, or which you may even find offensive, in order to find the subset of stories which you actually like).
Copyright © Society for Human Sexuality. All rights reserved.
If you're new to this site, we recommend you visit its home page for a better sense of all it has to offer.