Men's Bathhouse Etiquette

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Most bathhouse cruising is non-verbal, and accomplished through eye contact. Typically, you circulate around the club until you find someone you "click" with. Afterwards, it's common to look for someone at that club else to hang out with for a while; making dates to see someone later or hanging out with only one guy the entire time you're there isn't that common. Most of the time you don't learn each others' names.

The expected standard in most of these clubs (and which regardless should be your standard if you're responsible and sane) is to use condoms for anal intercourse, though in the interest of mantaining your peace of mind you'll want to be sure you can see your partner put his condom on if you're the receptive partner. Please note that it is comparatively UNCOMMON to use condoms during oral sex; if your personal safer sex standards include using latex when giving or receiving fellatio, then you may wish to avoid oral sex altogether while at these clubs. In all liklihood, a significant percentage of the men you will meet in these clubs may be HIV positive, and it is important that you have the self-discipline to maintain the safer sex-standards you have set for yourself in advance. Also, please note that it's part of club etiquette NOT to come in another man's mouth unless he specifically offers to allow that.

Commonly, sex with another man (whether it consisted of oral sex, anal sex, a hand job, or all three) is completed by each man masturbating himself to orgasm while watching the other do the same.

Note that if your intention is to just be a voyeur and someone hits on you, saying "I'm just here to watch" is probably better than trying to claim, "Sorry, I'm straight..."

Since clubs like these are fairly superficial places, it's easy to feel "empty" or a little alienated after leaving them. The healthiest attitude is probably just to view them as fantasy environments rather than social outlets.

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