Alt.sex.masturbation FAQ


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Alt.sex.masturbation FAQ

Send contributions, corrections, etc. to: strokeman@masturbationpage.com

Revision 3/18/97

Contents of PART ONE: Q's & A's

1Q. What is masturbation?
2Q.
How does a man masturbate?
3Q.
How does a woman masturbate?
4Q.
How many men/women masturbate?
5Q.
Can I masturbate too much?
6Q.
My penis goes off at an angle! My vaginal lips look strange. Is this from masturbating?
7Q.
Will my penis get larger/smaller by masturbating it?
8Q.
Will I catch a disease from masturbation?
8aQ.
Will I make myself sick if I eat my own cum?
9Q.
Will I go blind/bald/insane/grow hair on my palms/penis turn black and fall off from masturbating?
10Q.
Can a doctor tell if I've been masturbating?
11Q.
Can my parents/guardian/spouse/other tell if I've been masturbating?
13Q.
Will I lose my ability to perform with a partner if I masturbate?
14Q.
Will I become obsessed with masturbation?
15Q.
Masturbation is only for people who can't get laid, right?
16Q.
Will I burn in hell for masturbating?
17Q.
Should I use a lubricant? What kind of lubricant should I use?
18Q.
All my friends can masturbate to orgasm but I am unable to. What's wrong?
19Q.
What is the normal size of a penis? Is my penis big enough?
20Q.
If I jack off with (get jacked off by) my friend of the same sex, will I become gay (or lesbian)?
21Q.
What is (are?) "blue balls"?
22Q.
What are poppers?
23Q.
I want to start working out to build muscle mass. Some of my friends say masturbation will increase testosterone, but others say it will decrease testosterone. What effect will masturbation have?

Contents of PART TWO

0.0 This FAQ:
0.0.1. Summary of Changes
0.0.2. Who maintains it? Who contributed to it?
0.0.2.1.
Where to find this FAQ
0.0.3. Disclaimers
0.0.4. Abbreviations and terms in this FAQ.
1.0 What is alt.sex.masturbation?
1.1.0. What is on topic?
1.1.0.0.1 Warning: Police Entrapment
1.1.0.1 Why don't more women post here?
1.1.1. What are the groups for related interests?
1.1.2. Why are binaries (pictures) off topic?
1.1.3. Where should I look for pictures?
2.0 Bibliography
2.0.1 Books
2.0.2 Film and Video
2.0.2.1 Masturbation depicted in films
2.0.3 Audio
2.0.3.1 Masturbation references in popular songs.
2.0.4 WWW and FTP

Contents of PART THREE

3.0 Techniques
3.1
Dangers
3.2
Male Techniques
3.2.1
Old Reliable
3.2.2
Not Quite So Reliable
3.2.3
The Rubdown
3.2.4
The Waterfall
3.2.5
The Belly Scratch
3.2.6
Autofellatio
3.2.7
The Squeeze
3.3
Female Techniques
3.3.1
Old Reliable
3.3.2
The Squeeze
3.3.3
The Waterfall
3.3.4
Autocunnilingus
4.0
Toys and Things
4.0.1
Non-sexual Objects
4.0.2
Food
4.0.3
Homemade Insertee Devices
4.0.4
Commercial Sleeves
4.0.5
Dolls
4.0.6
Vibrators
4.0.7
Vacuums
4.0.8
Dildos
4.0.9
Lubes
4.0.10
Jack-off Machines
5.0
Humor
5.1
Words and Phrases for Masturbation
5.2
Why Masturbation is so popular
6.0
Jacks/Jacks & Jills Clubs

Contents of PART FOUR

X1. A partial listing of personal ad groups.
X2.
Some other sex-oriented groups
X3.
Some pictures (binary) groups
X4.
What you should know about 011 long distance.

alt.sex.masturbation

Frequently Asked Questions
Part 1


1Q. What is masturbation?

Strictly speaking, masturbation is sexual activity involving only one person. It is sexual self-stimulation, often, but not necessarily, involving manipulation of the sexual organs by hand. In the US this is commonly known as "jacking off." In the UK the term "wanking" is common. On this newsgroup the term "jilling off" is sometimes used to mean female masturbation.

"Mutual masturbation" is a slightly incorrect term that means using the hands to stimulate another person. More correctly, this would be called "manual sex," and it is only "mutual" if each partner stimulates the other.

Group masturbation is masturbation in a group of two or more people. This is sometimes known as a "circle jerk." In a.s.m. "Jacks" applies to clubs or parties for the purpose of group masturbation, usually involving only males, "Jack-and-Jill" is applied to parties and clubs for people of both sexes, and "Jills" would be the term for parties or clubs for women only. Sometimes group masturbation involves mutual masturbation and sometimes it doesn't. In organized groups there usually are rules that make clear what is allowed and what isn't.

Historically, alt.sex.masturbation has considered all three kinds of activities to be on-topic. In general, however, when there is no other clue given about what is meant, the word "masturbation" by itself means sex involving only one person.

2Q. How does a man masturbate?

The most common method is by wrapping the fingers around the erect penis and then stroking it up and down until ejaculation. Another common method is to rub the erect penis against something, like a mattress, a pillow, or a sex toy, until ejaculation. While male masturbation tends to be focused on one sexual part, namely the penis, it is common and normal for it to be accompanied by stimulation of other areas.

3Q. How does a woman masturbate?

The most common method is by caressing and massaging the clitoris with hands and fingers until orgasm. This stimulation is often accompanied by similar caressing, massaging, and touching of other sensitive areas, such as the breasts, the vaginal lips, and the interior of the vagina itself.

4Q. How many men/women masturbate?

The best studies of this subject are now quite old. They found approximately 95% of men and about 60% of women claim to have masturbated. There is reason to think the figures for women would be higher if another comprehensive study were done today.

This does not say how many people masturbate regularly. There are great variations in frequency of masturbation between individuals, and even for one person, the frequency of masturbation varies from time to time.

5Q. Can I masturbate too much?

Generally the answer is no.

Masturbation usually involves friction, the possibility of blisters and friction burns exists, but this possibility can be greatly reduced with use of lubricants.

In other words, nothing about masturbation is inherently damaging, and nothing about it becomes damaging just because it is done very often. On the other hand, nothing about masturbation provides an exemption from the physical laws governing any other form of physical activity. You CAN masturbate too much in the same way that you could run too much, or bike too much, or type too much. So, if your hand is cramping, or you are rubbing yourself raw, or it is starting to hurt, stop for a while.

Most people are less likely to masturbate too much than they are to run too much or to work out too much or to play tennis too much, because most people will lose interest in masturbation (temporarily) after they have an orgasm. But because sexual issues are still highly sensitive ones in our society, many people who are in no danger of masturbating too much will worry about it.

There are some very rare psychological disorders in which people masturbate almost constantly, but people who worry about masturbating too much are many times more common.

6Q. My penis goes off at an angle! My vaginal lips look strange. Is this from masturbating?

No. Like ears, like noses, like feet, like all nonsexual body parts, the sex organs are subject to a wide range of variations that are perfectly normal.

Any kind of sexual activity is likely to induce certain changes in the sexual parts, mostly swelling and color changes. These are entirely normal and temporary changes that accompany sexual arousal. The organs will return to their usual appearance shortly after sexual activity stops. It is entirely normal for the testicles to increase in size and to draw close to the body during extreme sexual arousal. It is entirely normal for the nipples to increase in sensitivity and to erect during sexual arousal--and just as normal for this to happen in males as it is normal when it happens in females. Flushing of the skin (reddening)--most noticeable in fair-skinned people, but present in others--is entirely normal in extreme sexual arousal, and virtually any part of the body may be affected (temporarily) although the face, shoulders, chest, and thighs are most commonly affected. It is entirely normal for the sexual organs to lubricate themselves during sexually arousal. In males this lubrication is called preseminal fluid ("precum" is usually the word used on a.s.m).

Some people noticed these changes more during masturbation because during masturbation they can observe themselves more closely than they do when they have sex with a partner. It should also be noted, that these effects are highly variable. Not all males produce noticeable amounts of precum, while others produce large amounts whenever they are even slightly aroused, and in yet others the amount will depend upon the degree of sexual arousal and the duration of the sexual activity.

In some cultures foreskins and vaginal lips are deliberately stretched, day after day, in a process that eventually changes their size and shape--just as some cultures encourage deliberate changes in the shapes of lips, earlobes, feet, or other body parts. Ordinary masturbation will not induce these changes.

In particular, masturbation will not affect:

a) curves in the penis.

Many penises have some greater or lesser degree of curve in them when they are erect, and particularly in younger men, the erect penis tends to point upwards (toward the belly) rather than outward. A few penises have sharp angles when erect. The differences are not caused by masturbation, and masturbation cannot change the shape of the penis. Very serious abnormalities in shape can sometimes be corrected by surgery, but masturbation has nothing to do with it.

b) size of the labia or clitoris.

Some are small, some are large. Masturbation can neither cause these differences nor alter them. And the same goes for the clitoris. Some are large, some are small. Almost all of them will become colored and enlarged with blood during sexual arousal but will return to normal after sexual activity is over.

c) color of the skin of the sexual areas.

Very commonly the color of the skin of the sex organs differs from the color of skin of the rest of the body. In light-skinned people, the sex organs often are darker than the rest of the body, while the opposite is often true of dark-skinned people. This really should not be surprising because the skin of these areas IS different from the skin of the rest of the body. If it was not different, people would have as much fun playing with their elbows as they do playing with their sexual parts.

Masturbation does not cause the difference. Some, especially circumcised, males will notice great differences in color from one part of the penis to the other. This is especially noticeable on either side of the circumcision scar. Masturbation is not the cause of the color difference. It is just a coincidence that this color change is noticeable where a male is likely to place his hand when he masturbates.

d) position and size differences of the testicles (or the relative size of the breasts or nipples, etc.).

It is normal for one testicle to be slightly larger than the other and for one to hang slightly lower than the other (if not for this latter, males would be constant racking themselves when they walked--i.e. the testes would be banging against one another painfully). Most people are not perfectly symmetrical in all their body parts--one foot is slightly larger than the other, one breast is slightly larger than the other, one hand is slightly larger that the other. These differences are perfectly normal and are not caused by masturbation.

Also masturbation will not make one hand or arm bigger than the other--unless you usually masturbate with a dumbbell :) There is just not enough resistance involved for this activity to have a training effect on the arm and hand used. Right-handed people will still have slightly larger slightly better developed right hands and right arms, and it won't matter which hand they use to masturbate.

7Q. Will my penis get larger/smaller by masturbating it?

Larger. But only temporarily. ;)

Masturbation will neither retard nor accelerate the growth of the penis. Masturbation will neither increase nor decrease the eventual adult size of the penis, and when the penis has achieved its adult size nothing short of surgery can induce a permanent change in its size. The same pretty much goes for breast size.

There is almost nothing an individual can do to affect the ultimate size of his penis or her breasts. Medicine can treat certain rare disorders in which people do not get enough of the right hormones at the right time, but giving these treatments to normal people does not produce good results. In particular, steroids and other male hormones that some bodybuilders take tend to *shrink* the testicles of otherwise normal males.

8Q. Will I catch a disease from masturbation?

No.

You cannot get AIDS or any other sexually transmitted disease from playing with yourself. These diseases are sexually TRANSMITTED, which means the germ that causes the disease (HIV in the case of AIDS) has to come from somewhere--and that somewhere is an infected partner. If you have the disease, you have the disease whether you masturbate or not. If you don't have the disease, you cannot get it by playing with yourself.

Manual sex with a partner--that is where you touch the partner's organs with your hands, and vice versa--can theoretically provide an opportunity for the transmission of some kinds of sexually transmitted diseases, especially if semen or blood from one person comes in contact with broken skin of the other person. The risk involved in such activities is estimated to be extremely low, but it is NOT zero.

Group masturbation (circle jerks) where you play with yourself and the other parties play with themselves do not involve the risk of transmission of sexually transmitted diseases if you don't come in contact with blood or semen from anyone except yourself and you don't touch anyone else's sexual parts. Naturally, you can catch a cold if another person sneezes. If you want the risk of STDs to remain zero, you have to avoid sharing sex toys or towels that may have fresh fluids on them.

8aQ: Will I make myself sick if I eat my own cum?

You might make yourself nauseated if the idea disgusts you, but you won't get a disease and you won't poison yourself.

There is nothing poisonous in semen. If you think about it, semen has to be suited to keeping sperm--which are human cells--alive. It is not going to contain anything that is generally toxic to human cells. It is mostly water, a simple sugar to keep the sperm alive, and protein. The sperm, of course, won't do you any harm because they will be killed by acids in your stomach.

You cannot get AIDS or any other STD from eating your own semen. If the AIDS virus (HIV) is in your semen, then you are already infected with HIV, it already is in your blood stream, and swallowing some of your own semen is not likely to make matters worse. If you have some infection of the urethra (the tube in the penis that passes semen and urine) you are likely to know it. Unlike the anus, the interior of the penis and the stuff connected to it internally is clean and practically germ-free in healthy males.

Finally, you are just not going to ejaculate that much semen at any one time: a couple of tablespoons is pretty much a peak ejaculation for a sexual athlete, and it will probably be less, or a lot less for an average guy under average conditions. Semen, however, does contain stuff that makes it a good growth medium, so if you save it up in open containers at room temperature something could grow in it that would disagree with you, pretty much the same way that something disagreeable might grow on a baloney sandwich left over from last week's lunch.

9Q. Will I go blind/bald/insane/grow hair on my palms/penis turn black and fall off from masturbating?

No.

These are just old scare tactics to discourage people from doing it. Men's sexual organs are built to do two things: make sperm and semen, and ejaculate it out of the body. Once the semen and sperm are out of the penis, the body ceases to care what happens. The sex organs pretty much don't know and don't care what the source of the sexual stimulation is. Young men will sometimes get erections--and even, rarely, will ejaculate--as a result of vigorous physical activity, even in the absence of any specifically sexual stimulation. Most young men experience spontaneous erections when they were not consciously thinking sexual thoughts or doing anything to stimulate themselves. The male body does not know or care whether the semen ends up in a vagina or a throat or an anal cavity or in a tissue. In other words, so far as the body is concerned, masturbation is exactly the same as any other kind of sex. Anyone who says "You should have real sex instead of masturbating because masturbation causes X" where X is some bad thing, overlooks the fact that to the body masturbation is real sex.

What masturbation means to the mind, is mostly up to you. Some people think masturbation is real sex as much as any other. Some people think of masturbation as a relief value for when "realer" kinds of sex are not available or would not be a good idea. Yet others think of masturbation as self-love and that masturbation is not an alternative to other kinds of sex, but is a complement to them. There are a variety of negative thoughts about masturbation too.

A few of the old tales have just enough basis in fact to convince some people to believe them.

For example, masturbation does NOT cause zits (pimples). But some people might think so because the hormones that cause the development of sexual urges are also the hormones likely to cause skin problems. This is a classic case of faulty cause-and-effect reasoning. People begin to get horny and to have the urge to masturbate or find other sexual outlets at about the same age that they first experience skin problems (if they ever do). But zits don't cause the hornies and the hornies don't cause zits. Instead both are caused by a third thing, which is the increase of sex hormones that occurs when a person approaches adulthood.

Likewise, a person is likely to feel sex urges and start to masturbate at about the time that hair starts growing on various parts of the body that didn't have hair before. If someone tells him the lie that masturbation may cause hair to grow on his palms, he may believe it, because, after all, all this other hair has started growing where it did not grow before.

Although the above are myths that mostly males hear, the same general principles apply to females. The body just does not have some hidden nasty to spring on a person who masturbates because the body can't tell the difference between masturbation and other kinds of sexual arousal.

Many people feel slightly tired or "let down" after masturbation or after other kinds of sex. This is entirely normal, and is not really much different than the feeling one gets after any other very exciting or vigorous activity is over. If you go to a concert that you have really been looking forward to, there IS a feeling of let-down when the music stops and the lights go up--in a very crowded place you can actually hear everyone making a little sigh at the same time.

Although many of the most obvious feelings relating to sex are conveyed by direct nerve Impulses, others occur through the release of certain chemicals into the bloodstream (which is why some paraplegics who cannot feel their sex organs can nonetheless enjoy sex). These chemicals induce a quiet and relaxed state after sex which some people interpret as being sleepy.

The combination of the normal letdown after any exciting activity and the relaxed feelings that come from the chemicals released into the bloodstream at orgasm form the basis of several myths. The myths include stories that masturbation (or sex in general) has a weakening effect. Of course there is nothing to this myth.

10Q. Can a doctor tell if I've been masturbating?

Not if you washed up after your last session :)

In any form of sexual activity the body produces its own natural lubricants, men ejaculate, and in a variety of sexual activities people may add various lubricants. If you leave these substances on the body an observant doctor will be able to tell you have been doing something sexual. But even then there is no way he can be sure it was masturbation. If you clean yourself up before the examination, the doctor is not going to know what, if anything, you have been doing sexually.

In some kinds of urine tests, it will be noted whether there is sperm in the urine or not. A lot of sperm in urine could indicate a prostate (or other) disorder or it could merely indicate that patient recently ejaculated. There is no way the test can tell what caused the ejaculation: whether it was masturbation or some other kind of sex or a wet dream.

11Q. Can my parents/guardian/spouse/other tell if I've been masturbating?

Probably not, but sometimes they can make a good guess.

There are no telltale signs as far physical appearance is concerned. There are a few myths such as people who masturbate have bags under their eyes, or one biceps gets bigger than the other, or the person gets pale. You may have these "signs" or not, but they are not caused by masturbation and they won't go away if you stop masturbating.

Some people are very sensitive to the smell of semen and semen does leave very distinctive stains on fabrics. But sexually competent males are likely to ejaculate in their sleep (have wet dreams), and this can explain stains on underwear or bed clothes, if explanations are necessary. Most parents are not dummies, and they will generally have a good guess why a person spends more time in the bathroom or what a particular kind of magazine hidden under a mattress is for. Likewise, if you have never been especially worried about the condition of your skin, but you start buying hand lotion by the case, people can put two and two together.

Many adults are fairly regular in their sexual habits--perhaps more regular than they would like to admit. A spouse is very likely to notice any abrupt and significant change in frequency of sex. More usually a spouse who notices a change will think that possibly it indicates another sexual partner. It is the change that is likely to be noticed, and sometimes a spouse will not know when masturbation has been a consistent part of a person's sexual outlet.

As military service is now less than universal and fewer students share rooms in dormitories, the questions of how roommates and others in close quarters deal with issue of masturbation is less common, but this is a recurring theme of posts to a.s.m. and suffice to say that no one solution can be offered that is successful in every situation.

12Q. I quit having/never had wet dreams after I started masturbating. Is this normal?

Yes. Some males never have wet dreams, or have only one or two their whole lives. The old theory was that sperm built up in the male and if it did not come out in masturbation or other sexual activity it would have to come out in some other way: namely wet dreams. According to that theory someone who was masturbating or having other regular sexual outlets would not have a buildup of semen and wet dreams would not occur. But the new evidence is that it is not so clear-cut as all that. Evidently the body can and does reabsorb unused sperm and the occurrence of wet dreams is not so closely related to the absence of other sexual outlets as was once thought. Some males stop having wet dreams about the time they start masturbating. Others only have wet dreams during times in their lives when they are very sexually active. Still others have frequent wet dreams no matter what they do, while yet others never or almost never have them.

Will you have more wet dreams if you stop masturbating or have fewer if you do masturbate? Maybe. Maybe not.

A thing that really shoots down the old sperm-build-up theory is that it is now recognized that some women have sexual dreams leading to orgasm. This doesn't tell us a lot about the function of sexual dreams, but it does indicate that getting rid of excess sperm is not the right answer.

13Q. Will I lose my ability to perform with a partner if I masturbate?

Not likely. Most people claim that masturbation helps a person develop a sense of what stimulus he or she needs to have an orgasm. Many people say that they develop better control through masturbation. Either way, as described above, there are no physical dangers to masturbation--you don't use up all your sperm.

Some women cannot have orgasms during sex unless they stimulate themselves manually or get their partner to stimulate them manually. Some people claim this is because the women have trained themselves to respond to manual stimulation by masturbating. But the fact is that a large proportion of women do not get orgasms from coitus (fucking) alone whether they have masturbated or not. This is partly a matter of anatomy: coitus just does not provide the most vigorous stimulation where it counts for some women. There is an equally good argument that masturbation is good training for sex, and that some women are not orgasmic at all until they have learned to be comfortable with their bodies and to let go through masturbation.

On the male side there is sometimes the argument that because masturbation is usually quick--so that the activity can be concealed from others--masturbation may teach males to be premature ejaculators. This overlooks the fact that most young males are pretty quick on the trigger anyway, and that most of them have to make a conscious effort to learn to control their urge to ejaculate immediately regardless of the factor of masturbation. In particular, males who do not masturbate may build up levels of sexual tension that result in premature ejaculation--or so one theory goes. In fact, some sex therapists recommend a program that includes masturbation nearly to orgasm several times before the final release to help men who ejaculate prematurely learn to identify and to control the urge to ejaculate.

What to make out of all these theories? The truth is probably something near to this: masturbation and satisfactory sex with a partner involve different skills. In particular cases masturbation may help slightly or hinder slightly the learning of the skills necessary for satisfactory sex with a partner, but it is highly unlikely that masturbation will be a determining factor in the long run.

14Q. Will I become obsessed with masturbation?

People can become obsessed with any pleasurable activity (and also with some activities that are not so pleasurable). Unlike some other obsessions, many more people worry about becoming obsessed with masturbation than ever do become obsessed with it.

One kind of comparison to make it to ask whether there would be a question of obsession if the activity was not related to sex. Take video games for example. For some people they are a compulsion. These people hardly do anything except sleep and play video games. Their grades may suffer, they may lose a job, they pay no attention to their personal hygiene, and so forth. From the outside it is easy to judge this as a compulsion and to see that it is interfering with their lives.

On the other hand, on any given Saturday, a person who is NOT obsessed with video games might get a new video game and he might spend as much time on that particular Saturday playing video games as the video-game addict does. But for the noncompulsive player, the newness of the game will wear off and he'll only spend a few hours a week with the game, although there will still sometimes be days he spends more time at it than on other days.

Males tend to reach the peak of their sexual drives at an age that, in our society, does not offer them the most opportunities for sexual outlets other than masturbation. Some of them do masturbate a lot, but only a very few of them ever become compulsive about it.

As with most questions relating to sex, many more people will worry about it than will ever have a real problem. But the worry itself can be a real problem. If you think you have a problem you may have a problem or the worrying about the problem may be the problem. In either case, seek competent advice.

15Q. Masturbation is only for people who can't get laid, right?

No. Some people do masturbate because there is no sexual partner in their lives, for whatever reason (and there are many good ones). However, many people who are married or involved in other sexual relationships continue to masturbate. Masturbation is just another form of sex play, and there are times when it is just what the person wants to do. Masturbation when alone is uncomplicated, since the person has complete and utter control of the progression of the act.

Sometimes a person wants an orgasm without having to involve other people, for any of many valid reasons. Masturbation while being watched by a partner can be very erotic. Many men love to watch their partners masturbate, and dream of it if they do not. Many women feel the same way. Mutual masturbation is an avenue that leads to much enjoyment. Discontinuation of masturbation after marriage or the start of some other sexual relationship simply denies people a lot of opportunities for erotic play. Anyway, it is a good bet that people who tell you masturbation is only for people who aren't getting laid, probably are not getting laid themselves. People who have happy and fulfilling sex lives don't feel the need to brag about it or to tear down other people.

16Q. Will I burn in hell for masturbating?

Certain religions would have you think so. The meaning of the passages in the Christian Bible that are supposed to be about masturbation are highly debatable. If masturbation causes you have serious religious feelings of guilt, you may wish to consult a religious authority of your particular faith. Celibacy, although not easy, is an option, and some people do find it easier than struggling with their feelings of guilt. For obvious reasons, if abstinence is your personal choice, you will find other places on the net that are more supportive of that choice than alt.sex.masturbation.

17Q. Should I use a lubricant? What kind of lubricant should I use?

That depends on your personal preference. Many men use lubricants because they find the friction of masturbating a dry penis is too uncomfortable. Others learn to masturbate before they think of using a lubricant and never feel a need to include lubricants.

Occasionally when lubricants are discussed on a.s.m., some person trying to be helpful will warn you never to use oil-based lubricants because of the danger of AIDS. Of course, this person has not stopped to think that there is no danger of AIDS in masturbating yourself. Oil- (or fat-) based lubricants will dissolve the latex in condoms, and even if the condoms do not break, tiny holes may develop in them that would allow for the transmission of disease. But there is no reason you cannot use oil-based lube (and condoms if you wish) for playing with yourself.

Water-base lubricants like K-Y Jelly are safe for condoms. But sometimes such lubricants are less than satisfactory for masturbation because in masturbation the lubricant is constantly exposed to the air and tends to dry out. Water-based lubricants are much easier to wash off.

A few things that are safe and feel good externally will sting or worse if they enter the penis, vagina, or anus. This is especially true of some soaps. For males, the effect may not be noticeable until the next time they urinate. Yet other products contain chemicals that some people may be allergic to. Usually, but not always, the problem comes from perfumes and dyes.

18Q. All my friends can masturbate to orgasm but I am unable to. What's wrong?

The answer to this question is in two parts. The first part is for young men who are still developing sexually. The second part is for those who are clearly fully developed.

For those who are still developing sexually:

First, if you are relying on what guys tell you they do or they can do, you should be aware that young men don't always tell the truth about sexual matters, and in particular tend to exaggerate their own abilities, conquests, etc. or even to lie outright.

[A contributor provides the rest of this answer]

I used to be a teacher, and was trusted well enough by some of my students that they confided in me concerning many problems. One VERY common concern is 'all my friends masturbate and come but I haven't been able to!' I have heard this from more than one 13 year old. If this is the case for you, don't be overly concerned. It is possible for male sexual maturity to be delayed until 15 or so without being 'abnormal'. However, if puberty has not started by 13 (i.e., at least SOME changes to your body) then you should talk to your doctor about it.

Normal changes include changing voice, growth spurt, oily skin and hair, developing body odor, rapid gain in muscle mass and strength, and growth of the testes and penis, as well as growth of facial, pubic, and other body hair. If some of these things are happening, you are normal. If none are happening, see a doctor. You may need hormone supplements or something like that. As long as you see some signs of sexual development, relax and just play around with what feels good for you. Try the methods mentioned by other posters, try just rubbing on a pillow with your clothes on, try soaping up in the shower, anything else you can think of. When you find something you like, keep doing it and eventually you will see why masturbation is so popular.

[End of this contribution]

For older males, who have fully-developed sexual characteristics a significant question is: what do you mean by you "don't come"?

Many males identify orgasm and ejaculation as the same thing. But they are not necessarily the same. If you are older and otherwise sexually developed, then the question is:

Do you reach a sexual climax but don't ejaculate? Or do you not reach a climax at all?

In either case, drugs can be a cause. Anti-depressants, some antihistamines, and many illicit drugs, especially of the cocaine and speed type, can interfere with sexual climax or with ejaculation or both. If you are taking prescription medication consult your doctor. A surprising variety of drugs can affect sexual function. Often doctors can prescribe alternate drugs or adjust dosages. And it is a perfectly legitimate thing to ask your doctor about. Begin with "I think my medicine is affecting my sexual functioning."

In the cases of certain drugs, you may be having a sexual climax and you may be emitting semen, but the two don't happen in a coordinated fashion. That is you don't "shoot off" although an equivalent volume of semen seeps out. A few people on certain antipsychotic medications report the frustrating situation of being able to get very close to a sexual climax, while not actually being able to achieve it.

If you reach a sexual climax but do not ejaculate, and you are an otherwise fully developed male, you may have retrograde ejaculation, which is a condition in which the semen is shot into the bladder instead of out the penis. This can indicate several disorders ranging from minor to serious. Consult a physician. This should be looked into whether the particular effect on your sexual function bothers you or not.

Of course it is not uncommon for males who have had several ejaculations in a short time to experience a "dry cum," and in this situation it is perfectly normal.

Some males cannot reach a sexual climax or ejaculate. This usually becomes apparent when they attempt intercourse. Like impotence (the inability to have an erection) this can happen sometimes to anybody and few males will go their whole lives with ever having one or the other problem on some occasion. Nervousness, alcohol or drugs, and fatigue may be factors in the occasional inability to get an erection or to have an orgasm. Don't make too much of rare or occasional problems of this kind: everybody in every kind of activity has an occasional off day.

However, if these problems persist--happens every time, happens almost every time--in a variety of circumstance (whether you are rested or not, whether you have been drinking or not), it is time to consult a physician or sex therapist. It used to be thought that these problems were caused by deep psychological hangups that might take years of therapy to correct. However, it has been discovered that many involve fairly simple physical problems that can be corrected fairly quickly.

[contributions for the female side of this Q and A are encouraged by the maintainer: eighner@io.com ]

19Q. What is the normal size of a penis? Is my penis big enough?

This is not entirely on topic. As far as a.s.m. goes, if you can masturbate, your penis is big enough.

For some reason we never get questions from guys like "Are my feet big enough?" It would be a silly question. If your feet get you around and they are neither too big or too small for you to get shoes, foot size just is not a big issue. And this really ought to be the same for penis size.

Most of the studies that have relied on actual measurements, instead of just what guys claim, find the average length of an erect male penis (measured along the top) to be 5 to 7 inches (about 13 to 18 cm). Surveys which only ask men to say how big their penises are usually get averages about 2 inches (5 cm) longer. Or in other words, guys lie about it. Some of them aren't lying, but simply overestimate themselves, and pretty much same thing occurs when you ask males how tall they are and compare that to actual measurements.

What is wrong with these surveys is that they tend to create the impression that there is one measurement of the size of a man's erect penis. But the truth is that even a fully erect penis will change in size according to the degree of sexual stimulation or arousal.

*But all the guys in the porn flicks have much bigger ones!

It is true enough that guys in porn flicks seem to have bigger penises. Hey, these guys are not hired for their acting ability. And yes it is perfectly true, if your penis is topping out at about 5 inches, perhaps you had better not be planning a career as a porn star. If you are old enough to be asking this question, you are old enough to realize that you are not the biggest, the best, and the brightest at everything--and you don't have to be.

The major advantage of a big penis is that it looks big, but as for functionality, it is not that much better than an average or even small penis.

*Do women notice?

Oh sure. I guess you go to a lot of those kind of parties in which all the guys line up and drop trou and the women go down the line selecting partners according to dick size. Is that right?

Like all the questions that begin "Do women . . .," "Are women .. . .," "Will women . . .," the answer is: some do and some don't. Some will notice, and to those who notice, it will matter to some and not matter to others. What is really utterly clueless about this question is what seems to be the thought behind it, namely: If my penis is a certain size or bigger, women will automatically find it satisfying, but if it is smaller than a certain size then it is hopeless. **BUZZ** Wrong. But thanks for playing.

This theory is wrong, wrong, wrong. It is wrong for guys who think they have a larger penis and who think, therefore, it is pretty much up to women to be automatically satisfied by it. It is wrong for guys who think they have smaller penises and therefore are considering becoming monks. Get a clue.

Also, stop working on your biceps and start working on tightening up your butt. Physical attributes do count with women, although IN GENERAL not so much as they count with men, but what women find physically attractive in men is not always the same thing as what men think women find attractive or what men find attractive in other men. In particular, guys tend to notice upper body mass (deltoids, biceps, pecs), to admire these in other guys, and to devote much of their workouts to developing these. But in fact the parts that women tend to notice and evaluate are butts, bellies, thighs, and calves.

*But the guys in the showers all have bigger ones!

There are several factors here. First, people, and especially males, tend to develop at different rates. If you are young and in a group of young males there will be vast differences in development, and it is impossible to tell how things will work out once everyone is fully developed. Second, you are not going to see many erect penises in the showers, and the relative sizes of flaccid penises don't really have much to do their relative sizes when erect. Some penises sort of accordion up when they get soft. Other just get soft with getting much smaller. Third, there is a difference in perspective when you look down at your penis and when you glance at the next guy in the shower. Fourth, you might really have a small penis. So what?

*Can I make it larger?

Only surgery can change the size of an adult male's penis.

*It is not as big as it should be for my shoe size (according to the size of my hands, etc.)

Not everyone is built on the same proportions. Comparisons to shoe sizes, length of fingers, and so forth may be amusing, but have no scientific basis.

*When should I worry?

If you are at least 14-years-old and have absolutely NO sexual development whatever (no pubic hair at all, no facial hair at all, no voice change, no increase at all in size of the penis or testes) it is time to consult a doctor, or if this is so worrisome to you that you are losing sleep over it and can hardly think of anything else or are avoiding social contacts because of this worry, it is time to consult an appropriate professional.

20Q. If I jack off with (get jacked off by) my friend of the same sex, will I become gay (or lesbian)?

While there are plenty of good reasons to want to do this and also to want not to do this, it will not change your sexuality in any way. If this happens, or if this has happened, you MIGHT be gay, or you might not be. But this event has nothing to do with it.

Sexual orientation is something that seems to be set at a very young age (like less than four years) and there is even some evidence that it is something a person is born with. Most people have some capacity to be sexual outside of their orientation. That is, some gays have had heterosexual relations, some straights have had homosexual relations, and often a person's first sexual experiences have little or nothing to do with the person's orientation.

There are many other factors to consider, such as whether your friend is trustworthy, whether you are interested in having the experience or whether you are being pressured into it, and so forth. But whether it will (or has) changed your sexuality is nothing to worry about. If you are looking for an excuse NOT to do it, you don't need one: you have a right to say "I'd rather not do that, thank you," and you have no need to explain yourself. On the other hand, if you do decide to do it (or have done it) you have a right not to accept labels or guilt trips that other people might try to give you because of it.

21Q. Was is (are?) "blue balls"?

"Blue balls" is a painful sensation in testicles, rather like the sensation one gets from being hit in the nuts, only a lot more subtle.

No, they do not actually turn blue. But the condition is associated with the whole area being flushed with blood and so there may be a color change, more like a purple, or blush color.

It hurts. It hurts to move any way that jostles the nuts. The feeling is something like if you had sinuses in your nuts and they were badly congested. It is not a sharp pain, but of a sort associated with squeezing, congestion, pressure, etc.

Blue balls are cause by prolonged sexual arousal. The whole area becomes flushed with blood and the nuts increase with size. This is a perfectly normal part of male sexual arousal. However when release does not occur within a reasonable time, the tenderness and pain called blue balls may result.

Only the passage of time will relieve blue balls. Blue balls can be prevented by sexual release--any kind of sex including jacking off will do. Also taking any kind of break from the sexual stimulation can prevent the blue balls if sexual arousal has not gone too far. But once the pain starts, sexual release will not necessarily stop the pain. Continued sexual stimulation may only make matters worse.

"Blue balls" ARE NOT an extremely painful, debilitation condition that some males hope to convince their dates it is. If the pain has not set in, it can be avoided by stopping sexually stimulating activity for a while. Having sex with another person IS NOT the only way to avoid the discomfort--masturbation will relieve the congestion as well as any other kind of sex. And if the discomfort has set in, REALLY, sexual activity will be likely to be painful.

Women too can have some discomfort from prolonged sexual arousal and congestion of the sexual areas.

22Q. What are poppers?

Poppers are substances that are closely related to the drug amyl nitrate. Although poppers are illegal in many jurisdictions, they are sometimes sold in adult bookstores as "room odorizers" -- an ironic name because they smell like dirty sweatsocks.

Amyl nitrate is a vasodilator with legitimate medical use in angina pectoris. That is, the drug tends to relax and open up blood vessels which can be useful for people whose narrowed arteries that do not supply sufficient blood to the heart, a condition that may cause severe chest pains (angina pectoris).

Most poppers nowadays are not amyl nitrate, but one or another related drug such as isobutyl nitrate. They cause a flushing sensation and perhaps dizziness. Some people identify the flushing sensation as sexual. Other people just get a headache. Poppers are very likely to set off migraines and other vascular-type headaches in people susceptible to such headaches.

Poppers are very controversial because some people believe they are associated with Kaposi's sarcoma, a cancer that sometime occurs in people with AIDS. They have always been unpopular with some people who do not find the experience of using poppers sexually interesting.

Poppers are sold in little brown bottles, usually covered with shrink plastic. Poppers are extremely inflammable (they will burn or explode in the presence of flames or sparks) and will evaporate quickly unless tightly capped. Poppers are used by sniffing the vapors. Like any other inhalant, poppers can be harmful if they are concentrated so the user does not get enough oxygen.

23Q. I want to start working out to build muscle mass. Some of my friends say masturbation will increase testosterone, but others say it will decrease testosterone. What effect will masturbation have?

Masturbation is very unlikely to decrease testosterone levels. Semen is not the source of testosterone, and ejaculation will not cause testosterone levels to go down.

All other things being equal, increased sexual activity -- including masturbation -- tends to increase testosterone levels. But these levels depend upon many factors including age, time of day, overall level of physical activity, and general health. Psychological factors can cause changes in testosterone levels: levels go up in men who believe they are going to become more sexually active, levels can be affected by whether a person knows in advance that he will be test for testosterone, and so forth.

In your case, the increase in physical activity accompanying your workouts will probably have a much greater effect on your testosterone levels. If you are a young male AND working out, your testosterone level is likely to be so high that any difference masturbation (or other sexual activity) might make will be insignificant.

In much older men (over 40 years old), especially those with fewer sexual activities of other kinds, masturbation might increase testosterone levels significantly--which is not to suggest that masturbation might replace a reasonable program of physical exercise.

Although athletes were once advised to avoid sexual activities (including masturbation) *immediately* before athletic performances, studies have not found any scientific basis for this advice. So far as I know there have been no studies of the effects of abstinence *throughout* training, and probably there won't be because it would be difficult to find athletes who would agree to be abstinent for a prolonged time and no way to tell whether they really were. At any rate, nothing special about masturbation would cause it to have a bigger effect for better or worse than any other kind of sexual activity.

alt.sex.masturbation

Frequenly Asked Questions
Part 2


0.0 This FAQ:

FAQ stands for "Frequently Asked Questions." Most newsgroups have FAQs. As implied, a FAQ contains the questions most frequently asked in the newsgroup and basic information about the newsgroup and the subject of the newsqroup. Material in a FAQ is not the final word on any subject, but it does contain summaries of issues that have been discussed time and again.

Please learn to spell "masturbation" correctly. Some news accounts which view the existence of this group with horror claim that we think the name of is "alt.sex.masterbation." Don't encourage these yellow journalists.

There is, however, a group called alt.sex.masterbation . If your server has it and you have the right kind of newsreader, you can use alt.sex.masterbation to filter out a lot of the garbage and spam. Subscribe to both alt.sex.masturbation and alt.sex.masterbation . Before reading alt.sex.masturbation , mark all the messages in alt.sex.masterbation as "read." In many newsreaders this will eliminate a lot of junk posts that are crossposted between alt.sex.masturbation and alt.sex.masterbation.

0.0.1. Summary of Changes

Monthly posting of the FAQ was discontinued in October of 1996 because of the difficulty of following a group that is overloaded with spam. Posting is now "occasional" -- which means when the compile get around to it.

As usual the FAQ has been edited to tighten up language and correct spelling and grammar.

Question 23 was added to part one of the FAQ (23Q. I want to start working out to build muscle mass. Some of my friends say masturbation will increase testosterone, but others say it will decrease testosterone. What effect will masturbation have?)

0.0.2. Who maintains it? Who contributed to it?

Lars Eighner ( eighner@crl.com ) volunteered to assemble this FAQ in 1996. Contributors should indicate whether they want to be credited for specific parts, in general, or not at all. This FAQ is not archived anywhere yet. This is FAQ is loosely based on anonymously posted FAQs from the past, one version of which is available at

and somewhat later versions in my personal archives. The keeper of the original FAQ has been heard from. He wishes to remain anonymous and wishes the present effort well.

0.0.2.1 Where to find this FAQ

The most current complete version of this FAQ can be found at:

http://www.io.com/~eighner/FAQs

or by anonymous ftp at ftp://ftp.io.com/pub/usr/eighner where the files are asmfaqp?.cur and ? is the part number 1, 2, 3, or 4.

The killfile annexes are also available at the above sites.

The ftp version is usually updated a day or two after the new version of the FAQ is posted.

and http://nassau.janey.com/~masturbate.

The FAQ has not yet been archived at one of the major archives, and anyone with information on how to get it archived is invited to contect to maintainer: eighner@crl.com .

The FAQ is posted occasionally in alt.sex.masturbation . The FAQ is currently posted in four parts because it is a large document (>100k). There is currently no automatic way to obtain the FAQ by e-mail.

Please do not ask the maintainer to mail parts.

0.0.3. Disclaimers

Nothing in this FAQ should be construed as professional advice. The FAQ represents the distilled opinions of contributors to the FAQ and to alt.sex.masturbation who generally are not doctors, lawyers, psychologists, or any other kind of expert. While the maintainer strives to keep the factual information as accurate as possible, those with particular problems or concerns should consult an appropriate professional.

0.0.4. Abbreviations and terms in this FAQ and glossary of terms used on alt.sex.masturbation .

a.s.m: alt.sex.masturbation .
binaries: binary computer files which must be encoded as text to be posted; usually means pictures in discussions on a.s.m. Binaries are not appropriate posts to discussion groups like a.s.m.
circle jerk: masturbation in a group, may or may not include "mutual masturbation" (=manual contact with others)
dork: person who sends wannafucks
FAQ: Frequently asked questions.
FTP: File transfer protocol; a way of downloading files from remote servers.
HIV: human immunodeficiency virus, the virus that causes AIDS.
http: HyperText Transmission Protocol, the protocol used for the transmission of web pages.
ISP: Internet service provider
Jacks: name for various clubs for group masturbation which may or may not include mutual masturbation. Usually these clubs are for men only.
Jacks & Jills: like Jacks, but for people of both sexes.
JO: jacking off (and/or jilling off), i.e. masturbation
lube: substance used to reduce friction and enhance masturbation
precum: preseminal fluid.
STD: sexually transmitted disease.
wanking: British word for jacking off
wannafucks: inappropriate email responses to newsgroup postings
WWW: World Wide Web

1.0 What is alt.sex.masturbation?

1.1.0. What is on-topic?

Newsgroups have topics because people's interests vary. With more than 13,000 newsgroups on the net, almost anything that can be posted is "on-topic" in some newsgroup. The reason "off-topic" postings are discouraged in all newsgroups is to make it easier for people to find posts on the topics they are interested in.

Discussions of masturbation and certain discussions relating to housekeeping of the newsqroup are on-topic in alt.sex.masturbation. For purposes of this newsgroup "masturbation" has historically included, besides sexual self-stimulation of all kinds, mutual masturbation (which probably ought to be called "manual sex") and group masturbation (aka "circle jerks," "jacks clubs," "jack and jill clubs"). But it does not include other kinds of sex that people may fantasize about when they masturbate. That is, oral self-stimulation is on-topic, but oral sex with a partner or fantasies about oral sex with a partner are not.

Commercial phone-sex ads and binaries (pictures) are definitely off-topic, and so are responses to them.

A "me-too" is off-topic. Sometimes people make posts offering lists of sexy sites or something of the sort. Another person responds and this is followed by many other posts that include the words "me-too." Usually there is no list, or the list is so dated as to be useless when you get it. Generally these are schemes to collect email addresses so that advertisements can be sent to those addresses. If you really think there is a list and you want on someone's bulk email list, SEND EMAIL to the poster. When you post "me too" to the newsgroup not only do you annoy other users and waste their time and money, but you probably will not get on the list you want to get on. If you don't see the original message offering whatever it is and it has scrolled off your ISP, whatever it is you want is probably no longer available or is too old to be of any value. Lists of web sites, in particular, are generally out of date by the time they are offered. Now that there are powerful search engines that are easily available there certainly is no reason to rely on someone else's list of "hot sites."

Since there are personal ads groups, sexy personal ads groups, and telephone sex groups, personal-type ads looking for masturbation partners should seldom (or never) appear in a.s.m. (Check X1. A partial listing of personal ad groups, found in PART FOUR of this FAQ.)

Generally persons looking for masturbation partners are looking for them in some very limited geographic area, and asking people all over the world to read these posts when there is a more appropriate place for them is asking a little too much. Certainly ads requesting partners for activities other than masturbation are off topic.

In any event, if your post is significant to only a limited geographic area, please indicate that area as the first thing in the subject header and (because some newsreaders do not show subject headers well) at the top of your post. Also be sure that geographic references are clear and unambiguous--many cities refer to them selves as "River City." A common way of indicating geographic areas in North America is by telephone Area Codes.

Please be aware that some people who post these ads have ulterior motives which may range from making money, to law enforcement, to leading people into situations that may involve unwanted sexual activities or physical harm. While many posters here are sincere and are accurate in describing themselves, their interests, and their situations, some are attracted to the net precisely because they can disguise essential facts about themselves.

Although warnings about police entrapment follow, there are reasons other than entrapment to be skeptical of USENET postings. If, for example, you see something that seems to be too good to be true, it probably is not true. Few people will really post their personal phone number -- no amateur could possibly want that many sex calls. So the odds are either the phone call will cost you or the number was posted by a vindictive ex-boyfriend or ex-spouse. If someone says he is "straight," why is he looking for a male sex partner? If another person describes him- or herself with all kinds of desirable attributes, why is that person placing an ad on the net to meet someone? Yes, yes, there are many reason the personal might be real and accurate, but you ought to consider the possibility that the personal is neither real nor accurate. The person may not even accurately report his or her sex. You can have fun corresponding with someone and in many ways it does not matter if that person's self-description is accurate. But obviously, you shouldn't count on it in any important way.

 

1.1.0.0.1 Warning: Police Entrapment

*************
WARNING
*************

A common law-enforcement entrapment technique is to try to get you to write about things you think are fantasies, but which law-enforcement officers will try to prove were *plans* for illegal acts. E-mail and posts have been used as evidence of conspiracies that participants considered to be only fantasies. People are doing real time in cases in which juries could not tell the difference between fantasies and reality. If you correspond with people about fantasies of illicit sexual activity be sure your fantasies are clearly labeled as such and be especially cautious if a correspondent wants you to do anything that would seem to indicate you were actually planning to make fantasies of illicit activities come true.

Police want to entrap as many people as possible in a USENET sting. Be especially cautious if you are asked to recruit more people into what you think is a fantasy exchange. Police have been known to try to portray themselves as having mob connections and may try to intimidate a person into staying with a fantasy discussion that the person really is not interested in. Don't play with people who are constantly trying to blur the line between reality and fantasy or who try to pressure you into doing things you don't want to do or who insist that you have promised to do something you haven't promised to do.

Also beware of people who want you to send pictures by e-mail (or regular mail). Anyone who can decode e-mail pictures can select pictures he or she wants from the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.* groups. Always ask yourself, if this person is who he/she says he/she is, why does he/she need me? If the person you are writing really is an adult, why can't he or she get adult access to an ISP that carries the erotica pictures groups? If this person really is a powerful mob boss, why does he need you to help put together a porno video?

See Laura Kipnis's BOUND AND GAGGED (Grove Press, 1996) for an actual case history of entrapment using USENET and more information regarding how to reconize police entrapment ploys.

1.1.0.1 Why don't more women post here?

A frequently asked question is why more women do not post to this newsgroup. One reason women are reluctant to post to the newsgroup is that when they do, they often receive inappropriate email known as "wannafucks." As the name implies, these are usually fairly crude sexual invitations, usually completely unrelated to the topic of a post. Some dickheads and other pathetic loser types seem to believe that any woman who mentions that she ever masturbated must really be desperate for sex with anyone. This is, of course, completely untrue. If you want more women to share their experiences, observations, and opinions on this newsgroup, do not respond to their posts as if anything they write indicates an urgent sexual interest in you personally. Many more women do read this newsgroup than post to it, and you might get email from some of them if you don't act like a dork.

1.1.1. What are the groups for related interests?

The alt.sex hierarchy contains newsgroups for virtually all sexual tastes. In addition, there are many binary groups which carry pictures for virtually every sexual interest. Local hierarchies often contain newsqroups for "personals" in which greater or lesser degrees of explicitness are permitted for sexual ads.

See part FOUR of this FAQ (X1-X3) for the names of some sex-related, pictures, and personals groups.

Listings of newsgroups can be found through most newsreaders. These patterns may be helpful alt.sex.* The * matches anything. This pattern should give you a listing of all the alt.sex groups. There are a few binary (picture) groups in the alt.sex hierarchy. Look for the word "pictures" in the newsgroup name.

alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.* This pattern should lead you to a listing of the erotic picture groups.

<your regional abbreviation>.* For example ba.* should give you the regional groups in the Bay Area (i.e. San Francisco and surrounding areas). These are not generally sex groups, so feel free to ask your provider for the abbreviation for your region, if there is one. Regions will vary as to whether they have personal ads groups and the groups will vary in how explicit posts should be. Read the group before posting and ask if there is a FAQ.

Some newsgroups that may be of interest: alt.sex.stories -- stories about sex and sexual fantasies alt.sex.stories.d -- discussions about alt.sex.stories alt.sex.stories.gay -- like a.s.s. but of special interest to gay people. alt.sex.pictures.* -- binaries (pictures) about sex, except that any group ending with .d is a discussion group

Do not take these definitions as final, but read the group and consult its FAQ to determine if the group is appropriate for your post.

1.1.2. Why are binaries (pictures) off topic?

Mostly because they are huge. Some people cannot skip over articles they don't want, but have to download the whole newsgroup to read any articles in it. Even a small picture may take 30,000 bytes which is the equivalent of ten fairly long text posts. Many pictures are much larger.

Because a.s.m. is supposed to be a discussion group, providers who are short on disk space may not allocate a lot of space to a.s.m. Pictures may crowd off text posts too quickly, and some providers will be less willing to carry a.s.m.

Many of the binaries posted to a.s.m. are off-topic anyway because they are not pictures ABOUT masturbation but are pictures FOR masturbation. And generally they are ads for phone-sex services, and particularly those which involve excessive charges that you will not know about until your phone bill is delivered by forklift. People have various ideas of what is sexy in a picture. When you look for pictures in the alt.biniaries.pictures.erotica.* group, you can select groups of interest to you and you will find pictures that don't have ugly phone numbers plastered across them.

1.1.3. Where should I look for pictures?

Look at the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.* and alt.sex.pictures.* groups to find pictures according to your taste. See PART FOUR of this FAQ for a selected list of picture groups.

2.0 Bibliography

(In the old anonymous FAQ credit for compiling the bibliography is given to Richard Lovel. As will be seen most of the entries are dated. Contributions are requested.)

2.0.1 Books

2.0.1.1 Books--Scientific / Scholarly

"Human Autoerotic Practices", ed. Manfred F. DeMartino (Human Sciences Press, New York, 1979). Excellent collection as above.

"Masturbation from Infancy to Senescence", ed. Irwin M. Marcus (International Universities Press, New York, 1975). Yet another collection, more psychology-oriented.

"Sexual Excitement, Sexual Peace", Suzanne & Irving Sarnoff (M. Evans, New York, 1979). Good overall study of masturbation. Reissued as

"Masturbation and Adult Sexuality" Sexual Self-Stimulation", ed. R. E. L. Masters (Sherbourne Press, Los Angeles, 1967). Excellent collection of psychological, sociological and historical essays. Includes good review of the "treatment" of masturbators in earlier times.

"Studies in the psychology of sex", Havelock Ellis. See especially the case-histories in the appendices.

2.0.1.2 Books--Literary / Historical

"The Secret Vice Exposed!", ed Charles Rosenberg, in series "Sex, Marriage and Society" (Arno Press, New York, 1974). Reprints of historical anti-masturbation tracts and medical writings. Includes writings by Tissot, the originator of the 19th century medical hysteria over masturbation.

"The Other Victorians", Steven Marcus (Meridian, New York, 1977) Study of pornography in Victorian England, many references to masturbation.

"The Durable Fig Leaf", Mark Strage (William Morrow, New York, 1980). Historical and literary study of the penis, with several references to masturbation.

"Confessions", Jean J. Rousseau. Rousseau was perhaps history's most famous masturbator after Onan, and his "Confessions" relates several incidents.

2.0.1.3 Books-- Current / Popular

"The Fermata," Nicholson Baker (Vintage/Random House, 1994) A guy who can stop time at will avails himself of the opportunity to spy on women, particularlywhen they masturbate.

"Men in Love", Nancy Friday (Delacorte Press, New York, 1980). Anthology of male sexual fantasies, many relating to masturbation.

"Men Loving Themselves", Jack Morin (Down There Press, P.O. Box 2086, Burlingame, CA 94010, 1980). Photo and word essays on male masturbation. Personal experiences.

"Portnoy's Complaint," Philip Roth. Novel about a man either obsessed with masturbation or obsessed with being obsessed about it.

"Singular Pleasures" by Harry Matthews. (Turnaround). "An extraordinary miniaturist epic, detailing 61 acts of masturbation- one to a page - dotted across the world, a single-handed global tour of male & female, young & old, from Zaire to Seoul, Glasgow to Zizanga, Paris to Perth. The tools change - a dildo, of course, but also a rugby ball, a turkey-baster, a municipal transit-launch, a hole in the snow, a dentist's drill. Stubbornly constant, though, is the flesh on which the objects & passions work, &, compellingly, the tolerant, humorous, unshockable gaze of the narrator. Shocking, innocent, & bizarrely likable in its lucid acceptance of human need."

"Thy Neighbor's Wife", Gay Talese (Doubleday, New York, 1980). Essay on contemporary American sexual mores; ch. 16 covers massage parlor masturbation. "Vox" by Nicholson Baker (1992, Random House) A man and a woman, strangers, exchange fantasies over and adult party line in this rather lewdly graphic novel. Sexually explicit and quite literate, the fact is that if phone sex were ever really this good, we d never leave the house.

2.0.1.4 Books-- How-To / Self-Help

"Any Man Can" by DR. William Hartman and Marilyn Fithian (St. Martin's Press). Chapters V through IX cover aspects of masturbation.

"The Art of Marathon Masturbation", Karl Adams (Helios Publication, Chatsworth, CA 91311, 1979). Mostly pornographic, in a "sex-manual" style.

"ESO: How You and Your Lover Can Give Each Other Hours of Extended Sexual Orgasm" by Alan P. Brauer, M.D., and Donna J. Brauer (Warner Books). Chapter III has some good masturbation Techniques.

"For Yourself", Lonnie Barbach (Doubleday, New York, 1975) Women's guide to orgasm, using masturbation as therapy. "Good Vibrations", Joani Blank (Down There Press, 1982). Guide to selection and use of vibrators.

"Joys of Masturbation", Hans Richter (Merchandise for Mailers, Palm Springs, CA, 1982). Half factual, half pornographic. Lots of photos, erotic content. Both male and female subjects.

"Liberating Masturbation", Betty Dodson (Bodysex Designs, New York, 1974). Personal experiences of a masturbation advocate.

"Masturbation, Tantra, and Self Love", Margo Woods (Mho and Mho Works, Box 33135 San Diego, CA 92103, 1981). Guidebook on masturbation as meditation.

"Selflove and Orgasm", Betty Dodson (Betty Dodson, PO Box 1933, Murray Hill Station, New York, NY 10156, 1983). Updated version of the same.

"Sex for One", Betty Dodson (Harmony Books, 225 Park Ave. South, 60 New York, NY 10003, 1987). Most recently updated version of the same. Recommended highly!

"Solo Sex: Advanced Techniques", by Dr. Harold Litten (1990, Factor Press, 6920 Airport Boulevard, Box 117-100, Mobile, Alabama 36608) "A scientific, 'devotional' text by the world's leading apostle of autoeroticism" ... "Written for any man who would like to become the true sex connoisseur".

2.0.1.5 Erotica

"The Governess", Miles Underwood (Collectors Publications, Covina, CA and also Grove Press). Modern fiction in Victorian style about a young habitual masturbator placed in the charge of a strict governess. Well written and entertaining. Probably no longer in print.

"Solo Flights - the pleasures of masturbation", (Arlington House, 225 Park Avenue South, New York, NY 10003, 1986). Slick, high- production value photo book of women in the act of masturbation.

B. B. Publications, P.O. Box 1033, Grover City, CA 93433. Publishes series of spanking-related short story anthologies. A trilogy from the author Brian Aldiss: The hand-reared boy. 1970 soldier erect; or further confessions of the hand reared boy. 1971. A rude awakening. 1978

2.0.2 Film and Video

2.0.2.1 Masturbation depicted in films

(The following are nonpornographic films with masturbation scenes)

THE BASKETBALL DIARIES: Leonardo DiCaprio on the roof of his apartment building masturbating at night.

BLUE LAGOON: Chris Atkins.

BODY DOUBLE (1982) Melanie Griffith as Holly Body, porn actress famous for her masturbation scenes.

THE BOOK OF LOVE: the character "Spider" in class.

BRAIN CANDY

CHAIN OF DESIRE: Linda Fiorentino

DANGEROUS OBSESSION (1989) (Italian) [no description]

FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH (1983) Judge Reinhold strokes away on the toilet as he fantasizes about his sister's best friend, played by Phoebe Cates. A topless scene by Cates accompanies.

HEAVEN HELP US

MIDNIGHT EXPRESS. Protagonist masturbates while his girlfriend, visiting him in prison, exposes her breasts. Also several male-male nude scenes which in the movie do not become sexual (but in the book they do). Not explicit.

9 1/2 WEEKS (1986) Kim Bassinger watches a slide show.

1900 (mid-1970) Italian made. Robert DeNiro and Gerard Depardieu, a prostitute who gives them simultaneous handjobs in bed, at one point DeNiro grabs Depardieu's cock to try and get him hard! Explicit.

RAMBLING ROSE: Lukas Haas, Laura Dern, mutual masturbation.

REFLECTIONS IN A GOLDEN EYE, starring Elizabeth Taylor and Marlon Brando. Brando is seen apparently masturbating to a postcard of Michealangelo's "David." Not explicit.

REINCARNATION OF PETER PROUD: Margo Kidder in the tub.

THE RIGHT STUFF

THE SAILOR WHO FELL FROM GRACE WITH THE SEA (1976) Sarah Miles does it while her son secretly watches.

SEX, LIES AND VIDEOTAPE: James Spader masturbating to video.

SINGLE WHITE FEMALE: Jenifer Jason Leigh

TATTOO (1981) Maud Adams is locked in a room after Bruce Dern tattoos her body (near the end of the movie). A fair amount of nudity from Ms. Adams.

THE TRUTH ABOUT CATS AND DOGS: Jeaneane Garofalo and Ben Chaplin, phone sex, not explicit.

UP THE ACADEMY

2.0.2.2 Porn videos and films entirely devoted to masturbation (male models)

Backstrokes, Video 10, Directed by John Summers, Written by Lars Eighner. Nine solos involving mostly white-bread surfer type models on a tasteful set. Voice over written by current compiler of this FAQ. Most of John Summers' flicks are of this type, featuring elaborate sets and muscular models.

Masturbation: Four Men, Edan Programs.

"Old Reliable". Series of video tapes of men masturbating. Aimed at gay audience. Usually employs street-hustler type models in someone's living room.

2.0.2.3 Porn videos and films entirely devoted to masturbation (female models)

Betty Dodson / Self Loving: Video portrait of a women's sexuality seminar." Documents one of Betty Dodson's famous seminars. Excellent, authentic. Quotes from the jacket: "We are ten women .... interacting in the nude ... engaging in pleasure ritual designed to enhance sexual self knowledge ... experiment with different sexual positions ... using electric vibrators ... a celebration of self loving filled with authentic orgasms."

Masturbation: Five Women, Edan Programs

2.0.2.4 Porn videos and films entirely devoted to masturbation (male and female models)

"Joys of Masturbation - the video", video tape. (MFM Video). Shares title only with Hans Richter book. Solo and mutual masturbation by women and men.

2.0.3 Audio

2.0.3.1 Masturbation references in popular songs.

Aerosmith. "Blind Man"

DOOKIE, Green Day. A song alternately called "Masturbation" or "All By Myself" occurs about 1:40 after the end of the last listed track on the CD.

Def Lepoard. "Pour Some Sugar On Me"

The Divinals "I Touch Myself"

2.0.4 WWW and FTP

The Masturbation Home Page http://nassau.janey.com/~masturbate

alt.sex.masturbation

Frequently Asked Questions
Part 3


3.0 Techniques

3.1 Dangers

Because there used to be so much misinformation claiming masturbation was harmful, many people now emphasize that masturbation is safe. And it is. But the fact that a person may be masturbating does NOT make the person immune from the laws of physics or biology. You don't become Superman just because you are jacking off.

There are some dangerous and deadly ways of jacking off or of trying to. Some people think it is extremely funny to post suggestions to a.s.m that are inherently dangerous. They seem to hope some idiot will try it and hurt or kill himself. And unfortunately some idiots do.

Things that wouldn't be safe if you did them to your arms or your toes do not become safe if you do them to your sexual parts. There is good masturbation, better masturbation, and really great masturbation, but there is not some cosmic orgasm out there waiting for you if you do something stupid.

I have debated long and hard with myself whether to post any information about these subjects for fear that there will be some brain-damaged readers who will try this stuff. I have come to the conclusion that information is better than ignorance and it is better for people to know about these things in order to avoid them than to let people risk being talked into something dangerous because of ignorance.

************************ W A R N I N G !

THESE ARE NOT MASTURBATION TECHNIQUES! THESE ARE WAYS PEOPLE HAVE HURT OR KILLED THEMSELVES!

1) AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION

Q. My wife told me about men who masturbate while standing on a chair with a noose around there neck. I guess there is supposed to be a thrill associated with cumming and going at the same time. Apparently, a number of men have actually hung themselves in the process. Hope it was worth it. Has anyone else heard about this?

A. Unfortunately this is a common occurrence. It is called autoerotic asphyxiation. There is a scene in a movie with Peter O'Toole ("The Ruling Class") in which O'Toole's father accidentally kills himself in this way, and the subject is common in the novels of William S. Burroughs.

Apparently this practice started when it was believed that hanged men get erections and ejaculate. If this happens at all, it happens in modern hanging as a reflex action when the neck is snapped and certainly the hanged men never feel anything.

Nonetheless, slow strangulation and anything else that prevents oxygen from getting to the brain will cause light-headedness and a feeling of intoxication. Some men (and this is almost exclusively a male phenomenon) think this heightens orgasm.

What happens is a man, usually alone, will strip naked and stand on a chair or table. Then he will tie a noose around his neck, lean against it to reduce the amount of air getting into his lungs and then masturbate. Unfortunately, sometimes the poor guy, in the throes of orgasm or perhaps just by unlucky consequence or because of the unsteadiness caused by lack of oxygen which will make people faint, will fall off of the precarious perch and accidentally hang himself completely.

Usually it is perfectly obvious to investigators what has happened because guys who intend to kill themselves don't usually get naked or pull out their penises to do it. It is difficult for families to decide whether they want the truth to be known or whether they would prefer the death counted as a suicide. Usually they opt for the latter.

Sometimes this activity becomes a trendy thing among groups of boys. When one accidentally kills himself, the others usually can guess the real story, and sometimes because of guilt, others in the group will kill themselves or become careless deliberately. This is what is behind many stories of suicides by hangings among school chums, and also a number of supposed suicides by men or boys who seemed to have everything to live for.

THERE IS NO WAY TO PURSUE THIS KIND OF ACTIVITY SAFELY. Because the idea of the practice is to deprive the brain of oxygen, the activity will certainly cause lack of coordination and lapse of judgment which are very likely to have deadly results.

THESE ARE NOT MASTURBATION TECHNIQUES! THESE ARE WAYS PEOPLE HAVE HURT OR KILLED THEMSELVES!

Q. I have heard of a way to electrically stimulate myself. What do you know about this.

A. This was supposed to be joke. Ha, ha. Someone tried it and electrocuted himself doing it. There is simply no way to use line current or car batteries that is not inherently dangerous. You know better than to stick your finger in a light socket. Why in the world would you think it would be safer to hook the same current up to your sexual parts?

There are some medical devices which are used to stimulate the muscles of people who are inactive because of nerve damage or some other reason. Used properly these devices are safe. But it is also possible to misuse these devices and to defeat the safety mechanisms incorporated in their designs. Some people do use such devices for sexual stimulation. Needless to say, the average person will not be able to produce a similarly safe device from spare parts.

***End of discussion of inherently dangerous activities***

[Most of the following is reproduced from the original anonymously-posted FAQ. "I" does not necessarily refer to the current maintainer of this FAQ.]

3.2 Male Techniques

3.2.1. Old Reliable

This one is the most common. Take the dominant hand (if you're right handed, use your right hand), wrap the fingers around the shaft and start stroking it up and down. Variations can include turning the hand around in different positions, using different fingers, and stroking different parts of the penis. The ALT.SEX FAQ file has a long section on various hand techniques. Sometimes lists of many thousands of ways have been made in which the only difference in most of the ways is a slight variation of finger position. There are, however, two fairly distinct preferences: fairly loose, light, and usually more rapid stimulation of the head of the penis, and a firmer grip used nearer the base of the penis. Some men use two hands on the penis to combine these basic forms of stimulation.

Although perhaps it is most common for masturbation of this kind to be done lying on one's back, other positions are also fairly common. Many men masturbate standing up, and this is convenient in the shower where cleaning up is easier and which may be the only place providing sufficient privacy or fo quickies in public restrooms or other places when disrobing might be inconvenient or arouse suspicion. Standing positions may make it easier to thrust the pelvis and involve the whole body in the act. Sitting positions are also common. Not so common are anumber of face down positions, in which the man supports himself on his knees and shoulders or knees and one elbow. Kneeling and crouching positions are also used by some.

While male masturbation tends to be very much focused on the penis, many men include secondary stimulation of other parts of the body with their free hand. The other parts most often included are the nipples, chest in general, belly, testicles, anus, and thighs.

3.2.2. Not Quite So Reliable

The same as above, but using your non-dominant hand. (So it is written in the old FAQ. However, a lot of left-handed guys do prefer their right hands. Lefties make a lot of adjustments to a right-handed world, and many learned to masturbate right-handed, perhaps by the example of others.)

3.2.3. The Rubdown

This is simply placing the penis on or against something and then rubbing the penis against it until orgasm. The simplest is to simply roll over on your stomach and rub your penis on the mattress. Variations include placing it between a pillow and mattress, between two pillows, in a pile of clothes, in the crevice between the sofa frame and cushions, between the mattress and box springs, and similar places.

This may be too rough for many men, and sometime lubricated plastic baggies, or condoms, or both are used to cover the penis. Most of these techniques have the advantages, if they work at all, of allow the male to thrust and of leaving the hands free.

3.2.4. The Waterfall

Women use this method often with good results. Place yourself so that your penis is sprayed by water from the tub faucet, the shower nozzle (particularly if you have the detachable kind), a garden hose, or other device. The spray may provide the sensations necessary for orgasm.

Needle fine sprays may be uncomfortable or numbing after a while. Try various adjustments.

3.2.5. The Belly-scratch

Lay on your back in comfortable position. Lube up your penis (I have no idea how good this method is without lube) and lay it back against your stomach. Curl your fingers lightly around the top half of the shaft and stroke the length of the penis. Don't encircle the penis with your hand--just rub the top half with your fingers and let the lower half rub against your belly.

3.2.6. Autofellatio

WARNING: This is not possible for everyone, and you can injure yourself trying to do it.

This is the ability of perform fellatio (oral sex) on your own penis. Most men are unable to do it, but many try and there are a lot of people who claim to have done it to some extent as well as a few porn stars whose main claim to fame is they can do it. You can be in really good shape and have a really long penis and still not be able to do this if your proportions are not right for it. If you aren't in good shape, you best not try it until you have learned some yoga or gymnastics. Slender, limber, long-waisted types seem to be more successful at it than compactly built muscular types.

The most common method is to lay on a bed with your head close to a wall. Swing your feet up over your head and against the wall, as if you were doing a backwards somersault. Then start walking your feet down the wall until you can either take the penis into your mouth or you simply can't bend any further.

A few guys can achieve the same result simply by bending over, grabbing the back of their thighs, and pulling. Porn star Scott O'Hara has a famous picture of him doing it in this position, sitting on a bar stool. If you are trained in yoga or gymnastics, you probably can find some other positions that will work, if any of them will work for you.

Most people who report success with this state that it took them some time and practice to do it, and that they were able to do it over a period of time (like several weeks). Try some stretching exercises to limber up as well.

Hardly anyone who can get some of his own penis in his mouth can really blow himself. Usually no more than an inch or so of the penis gets in and there simply is not anything left for motion of the in-and-out kind. No doubt someone who was very quick on the trigger or very excited about the whole thing could get off to it, but it is not giving yourself a blow job and it is really very painful for many of the guys who can do it to maintain the position very long. A few guys who can do this, do it just for show. Others make it an occasional *part* of masturbation. Apparently that last little strain to get any of it in is especially painful for some people if they try to maintain it for a long time, but the somewhat more relaxed position of just getting it somewhere near the face is easier on many guys.

In this position it is possible to masturbate and ejaculate over the mouth, and some men like to do this.

(Semen can sting if it gets in the eyes.)

3.2.7 The Squeeze

This method is very painful for some men. If it hurts, don't do it. Some men can get their erect penises between their thighs and can get off by jiggling or squeezing their thighs around their penises. Other men find it extremely painful to try to push their erections much lower than perpendicular to the body. Some find it easier to do this in a face down or a sitting position. A major consideration for anyone attempting this technique is to be sure to get the testicles out of harm's way.

A generally less painful, although not universally satisfactory method, is to insert the penis between well greased forearms. This is possible in a sitting or half sitting up position or in a face down position.

Other techniques are discussed in connection with toys.

3.3. Female Techniques

Note: The contributors and compilers of this FAQ have been mostly men. We mean well, but we probably have not got this all exactly right. Corrections and additions are welcome.

3.3.1. Old Reliable

The most common form of female masturbation is to use your fingertips to stroke and caress your clitoris. The clitoris ('clit' for short) is a very sensitive part of the vulva, located above the vaginal and urethral openings. It may be covered by skin or partially exposed, and may take a bit of exploration to locate. How much, and what kind, of stimulation to give it varies widely from woman to woman. Beginners are encouraged just to explore and lightly feel the genital area for pleasure spots, and stroke and caress such spots as you find them. As you get to know your body better, learning the best way to stimulate the clitoris will develop over time.

Clitoral stimulation is usually accompanied by stimulation of other erogenous (or pleasure-producing) zones, such as the breasts, the thighs, the vaginal lips and interior, and anywhere else that enjoys being touched or stroked.

3.3.2. The Squeeze

Some women find that they are able to masturbate by squeezing their thighs together and releasing. The advantage of this is that it can be done more discretely than by digital manipulation, and frees up the hands for other things.

3.3.3. The Waterfall

Many woman enjoy the stream-of-water technique, most commonly done in a bathtub with the tub-faucet running. Set the water to a stimulating temperature (start out with tepid water if you've never done it before. A burn in the crotch can ruin your whole day) and level of force, and then position your vagina so that the stream of water splashes on it.

3.3.4. Autocunnilingus

WARNING: This is not possible for everyone, and you can injure yourself trying to do it.

Some women (or so I have heard) are capable of this. It requires even more ability to double over to reach the area, because women don't have the length of the penis working in their favor. If you can cross your legs behind your head comfortably, you may have a chance of making tongue to clit contact.

As with the male technique of autofellatio, few will make contact at all, and most or all of those who do will not really find this a practical way of getting off. But if you are going down there anyway, take a small mirror--like a compact--with you and get to know what your own sex organs look like.

4.0 Toys and things

4.0.1 Non-sexual objects

These can be almost anything, depending on the resourcefulness of the user. The novel PORTNOY'S COMPLAINT, in the first chapter, offers a variety of examples, like a milk bottle and a bra. But use a little more sense than Portnoy and be especially wary of anything that is very hard, brittle, has sharp edges, or is likely to develop sharp edges if broken. Also consider what is inside objects that might work itself out, such as springs and wires.

Both men and women are cautioned to consider the ramifications of using a particular item before trying it. For males, don't stick your penis into anything that it might get stuck in, or anything that may crimp, cut, or otherwise hurt your penis. Women and men who use insertive toys should avoid anything that might cut, puncture, or tear the vaginal walls or rectum, will break (think carefully about this) or get stuck. Be careful not to introduce anything that might cause an infection and in particular, never put a toy that has been in an anus into a vagina without careful washing and disinfection (and this goes for the fleshy toy attached to boyfriends and fingers as much as it goes for inanimate toys).

Basically the first consideration about something you are going to put in you should be how you are going to get it out. This goes double for anything in the anus, where there are strong muscles that may tend to draw objects in. Many vibrators are made of cheap, breakable, hard plastic and are much too short. They may break or come apart in middle or, in the case of anal insertion, simply get lost. Some devices which seem flexible may contain hidden springs or wires that give the device its shape. These may poke out of the device and cause serious damage to a vagina or rectum.

It may seem silly to repeat such obvious advice, but emergency room records are full of cases of people who did not give even the least concern to safety in these matters.

Articles of clothing can be stimulating, especially if they have some significance in one's life. Those who are sexually attracted to women are likely to find bras, panties, or other lingerie stimulating. Those who are sexually attracted to men are likely to find athletic supporters and cups, Speedos, and briefs stimulating. Some people are sexually excited by stockings, socks, and shoes of the sex they find attractive.

Some men enjoy masturbating into socks (also noted in PORTNOY'S COMPLAINT). The longer athlete type sock works well if roll up, because the rolled part provides a grip on the base of the penis. Pull it on over the penis and rub. Other articles of clothing, handkerchiefs, towels, may also work. If cloth directly provides too much friction, a condom or a plastic bag used as a liner, and lubricated may help, and also makes clean up easier. Feathers and brushes often produce pleasant sensations. "Push" is the word used to describe teddy bears and stuffed animals and similar goods. Some people find these very satisfactory.

4.0.2. Food

Some people will masturbate with food. All warnings given for non-sexual objects apply here as well. Men will generally want something large and fleshy, that can be hollowed out to make a tube which can accommodate the erect penis. A cored apple, orange, grapefruit, or melon is often used. One person suggested cutting off the end of a banana and hollowing out the inside, leaving the peel intact. Some kind of tape (like masking tape) should be wound around the banana several times to add strength and keep the skin from bursting. Another contributor has suggested pasta packed into an object, like a coffee can, and hollowed out. Portnoy (again) reports using liver. Many suggestions of this type suggest microwaving or otherwise heating the object. Be sure, however, that any such object is sufficiently cooled. Remember, stuff that seems cool enough to the finger's touch, may still be too hot if wrapped around the penis.

Women will generally want fruits or vegetables that are the dimensions of an erect penis, such as cucumbers, bananas, and carrots. Note that anything very sugary that may leave a residue in the vagina will be seen as party time for yeast. Also carbonated beverages or anything that may introduce gas to the vagina can be dangerous under certain circumstances. Things that may break off cannot be recommended for anal use.

4.0.3 Homemade Insertee Devices.

The FAQ for alt.sex.wizards contains (or used to contain) directions for making a simulacrum (artificial vagina). The FAQ for a.s.m. used to have an exact copy of that material. This lengthy and detailed material has been replaced here with the following general remarks. Avoid glass or brittle plastic in building anything you intend to stick your penis into. Ridged parts are required in only one of the devices described below.

1) Device based on foam rubber.

The idea of these devices is to cut a slit in a fairly large block of foam rubber. Because the foam rubber will give when thrust against, the block needs to be a lot longer than the penis. The raw foam will probably be too rough for most people to enjoy, so the slit is lined with a long plastic tube. It is held in place on the business end by attaching it to an O-ring that is much larger around than the penis and is too large to go into the slit in the foam rubber.

2) Devices based on leather.

This device is made of a large piece of soft leather that is finished (smooth) on one side and an elastic bandage. The device is formed by placing the leather on an object that is cylindrical and approximately the size of the penis. Two or three broomsticks put together may be about right. The elastic bandage (the wider the better) is wrapped around the leather. The wrapping should not be very tight at all. The device is completed when removed from the form, although it needs to be seasoned in the same way as a baseball glove. The device should be cleaned regularly, but because it cannot be entirely disinfected it should not be used by more than one person. Also, it tends to conform to the size of its user over time, and won't fit anyone else right.

3) Device based on bicycle innertube.

This device requires a section of bicycle innertube, a large automobile hose clamp, and a piece of PVC pipe that is bigger around than the penis. One end of the section of bicycle innertube is stretched to fit over one end of the pipe and is secured with the hose clamp. The loose end of the bicycle tube is then poked into the pipe (turned inside out). This forms a funnel-shaped elastic tube inside the pipe.

One-time versions of this device can be made by stretching the open end of a condom over a wide-mouthed plastic tumbler and securing the condom with tape.

4.0.4 Commercial sleeves

All of these have one thing in common. They have a sleeve into which the penis is inserted. Beyond that, there are any number of gimmicks and add-ons to make things more interesting. One caveat emptor here: Try to get a good look at what you're buying before you pay. A lot of these things come in boxes that do not allow you to actually SEE the apparatus. If the store you're buying it from won't let you open it up and examine it, you should seriously consider not buying it. If it's good, the company that made it shouldn't have anything to hide. Most of these products are extremely over priced for the material and design work in them. Look for cheaper alternatives.

One of the best sleeves that was ever commercially available was the Jak-Pack. When inflated with air, it was a long doughnut-shaped device, and the degree of inflation controlled the tightness of "hole." But like all such devices, it would eventually spring a leak, and it was not as cheap as it could be. Alert shoppers noticed that a kind of swimming aid sold for children (meant to be fitted around the upper arm and probably not very effective as life preserver) was almost exactly the same thing and sold at a fraction of the price. Another caveat emptor: Be very suspicious of anything that promises a hands-off, trouble free jerk-off. Most of them will not deliver, unless you are particularly sensitive to whatever gimmick is working on you. The real problem is that the human hand is far more sensitive and stimulating that you might usually think, and most of these devices just cannot compete.

By the by, look out for plastic seams. Not only will seams tend to open and make the device useless, but some which are hardly detectible to the touch of a finger will feel like a razor blade to the penis.

1) The sleeve

The cheapest devices have smooth sleeves which are easy to clean but offer very low friction and penile stimulation. Better sleeves have textured interiors, some with bumps, spines, rings or ribs, to rub against the penis for added stimulation. This may be a little to much for many men. Those described as "flesh like" are fairly clammy and sticky. Curiously, very smooth surfaces will tend to stick to the penis rather than glide over it. Satin finishes (very tiny as-if-woven patter) with lube will feel smoother than shiny, smooth looking surfaces. Most of these things look more effective than they are.

2) Vibrators

Some sleeves come with vibrators on them, usually one (located at the top) perhaps a second one located at the bottom (for testicle stimulation). Vibrators can be fun or they can be an annoyance, or both. They vibrate, but they tend to do it by a buzzing sensation that you may or may not enjoy. Generally speaking, vibrators produce an intense and interesting sensation, but won't by themselves get most men off. They simply don't have the length of stroke necessary, and it is not a hands-off experience. (What's more, many of them vibrate side-to-side.)

3) Pumps

Some sleeves come with pumps--a plastic tube and bulb. You insert yourself and pump up the sleeve around you for a tighter fit. This may be a welcome feature, and it gives one a squeezing sensation, but (as with the vibrators) is probably not going to be enough just by itself.

4) Warmth features

Some sleeves are made so that they can be warmed up, either by pouring in warm water into a jacket, or by simply immersing the device in warm water and letting it heat up. Warmth is a fine thing in these devices, especially on initial contact, but most of sleeves will warm to ambient temperature just from being handled.

USE CAUTION: even water that seems tepid flowing over your wrist will seem very warm in a sleeve surrounding your penis. Many hot water heaters provide water as hot as 120 F or hotter, and this certainly can scald the genital area.

5) Facades

It is amazing me how many of these things have a special end that is made to look special: like a vagina, a mouth, or an anus. But of course they don't look real at all, you won't be able to see the painted up end of the device when it is in use, and the end doesn't do any of the work. Don't be fooled. Look at the sleeve. If the sleeve is cheap and featureless, then having a shell that is painted up won't help at all.

6) Vacuums

Some sleeves have pumps that suck the air out (almost always hand-operated), and usually promise a fellatio effect. Suction by itself is generally not enough. There are machines that will use vacuum changes to make a flexible plastic sleeve crawl up and down an erect penis. This DOES work, but the machines cost hundreds of dollars and require a custom fitted sleeve to work properly. You won't find them for $20 or $40 in an adult store.

4.0.5. Dolls

Often called "party" or "love" dolls, these are usually inflatable balloons that are designed to look like women or men. Often the only difference between the male and female dolls is that the male has a little paint on his chest to suggest hair and comes with a dildo that can be anchored in what is the vaginal slit of the female dolls. They are made out of latex plastic and resemble inflatable pool toys. They tend to have a strong latex smell that will remain with the doll until you wash it (probably more than once). Some dolls, supposedly are not inflatable--they are "solid," but evidently such dolls are not common in the trade because we have no reports on them.

Prices for dolls begin at around $15 to $20 and top off around $100. Most of them (especially the more expensive models) come in boxes that give no indication of what the actual doll looks like. Almost any picture on the box will be a drawing or photograph of a real woman or man. In fact, most of the dolls look like cartoons at best. If the doll looking "real" is important to you, you probably won't find anything satisfactory on the market. Store manikins are about 100 times more real looking than the best dolls.

1) The basic doll

Dolls are pretty simple, whether they are cheap or expensive. Basically they are a plastic, inflatable form with a sleeve located where the vagina would be (male-dolls have a dildo where the penis would be). The sleeve is usually the same latex plastic as the doll skin, shaped into a tube. It offers very little friction when used with lubricant (and lubricant is a must), so most people will probably not care for it.

The cheapest female dolls have only one sleeve, located where the vagina would be. Some dolls come with "french" and/or "greek" features. French means that it has a sleeve located in the mouth for simulating fellatio. Greek means that it has a sleeve in the rear for anal sex. In many male dolls, the dildo can be removed, and there is a sleeve there because such dolls are basically the same in male and female versions except for paint and the dildo.

The dolls generally will assume only one position. Most dolls are modeled so that they are lying down, ready for vaginal sex using the missionary position. Their knees don't bend so anal sex would have to be done close to the same way (doggie style is much more difficult). Fellatio can also be awkward. In addition some dolls have faces made of a harder plastic and the oral opening is just not large enough for many penises. Perhaps this is supposed to simulate a toothy blow job. The dildos on the male dolls won't assume any useful position.

2) Life-like features

More expensive dolls may have built-up features, such as breasts and a face. The breasts will vary depending on the quality of the doll, but good ones will have solid-filled latex breasts with formed nipples. The face will have built-up lips, a nose, and eyes. Some dolls comes with wigs, which are either molded on or can be slipped on.

3) "Action"

Some dolls come with vibrators. Usually it'll be something like an egg-shaped vibrator with a battery powered control unit. You insert the egg up the anal sleeve and feel the vibrations in the vaginal sleeve. How effective this is depends on your sensitivity to the vibrator action.

4) Talking

Some dolls supposedly talk dirty. Expect this to be a cheap "chatty Kathy" type device that will be tinny and won't sound real.

5) Clothes

Some dolls come with clothing--usually lingerie or pantyhose. If the doll is highly priced for this feature, consider buying the clothing elsewhere. If you're embarrassed or don't really know the size, ask a salesperson and say it's for a gift. Lingerie salespeople are used to men who are embarrassed and don't know anything about women's clothes. Unless you tell them, they won't know (nor care) why you are buying the clothes.

6) Weight ratings

Most of the more expensive dolls have a weight rating on the side, which is how much weight the doll can expect to carry before it pops. Heavier rated dolls may be more durable, which can save the trouble of patching them. Anyone who has tried to keep pool toys in one piece knows that all of them will wear out, the cheaper ones sooner than the expensive ones, and that patching will only do so much good.

7) Other

There are a variety of other gimmicks and features. The best policy is simply to look in the box and see what you get, but barring that--be skeptical. If a doll promises something special, ask yourself what it would be that would fulfil the promise--especially something cheap. The dolls are a lot of hassle to inflate, store, clean up, and patch. Most people won't get as much use out of them as they might think. Although the more expensive models may last longer and have a few more gimmicks, they are not really that much better than the cheap model for their purpose. It might be wise to get a cheap version first. By the time it pops, you'll have a better idea whether you are really willing to spend the money for a more expensive version.

4.0.6 Vibrators

Women have long used vibrators for masturbation, but some men (both straight and gay) are finding uses for them as well. Vibrators generally come in three basic styles: the first is the massager, and clamps onto the back of your hand. Women may enjoy it, but most men will find it unsuitable because it's hard to stroke the penis with the dead weight of motor on the back of the hand.

The second style is the wand type--shaped like a tube with a rounded end, or like a dildo. These are generally lighter, can be battery powered (no cords to get in the way) and can be inserted.

CAUTION: Dildo-shaped vibrators are usually made of a brittle plastic that can crack or break. The devices are generally not suitable for anal insertion or deep vaginal penetration. They are not generally well secured to their bases and they are short enough that they may become lost all too easily.

The last kind is hand-held unit with attachments that can be added onto the end of it.

CAUTION: Any device using line power (that plugs into the wall) has the potential of being a shock hazard, and all the more so when used around water, plumbing, or in (or on) moist areas. Read and observe manufacturers' warnings.

Women may find the buzzing of the vibrator is enjoyable, either when held against the clitoris or inserted into the vagina or both. It can also be used to stimulate other parts of the body. Men may also find the sensations enjoyable--on various places around the penis, the scrotum, the anus, or anywhere else on the body. Vibrators with a collection of attachments may be particularly favored by men, since some have cups on the ends for the penis head, and attachments that may feel good against other places. Units sold as massagers sometime really are good for nonsexual massage, but the battery-powered dildo-shaped devices are seldom good for this purpose.

Vibrators have a growing acceptance in society, and it is becoming easier to find them. Sex shops will have the widest variety, but department stores often stock them as "personal massagers." If you're embarrassed to be looking at them, don't be. Vibrators do have non-sexual uses, and many people do use them for sore muscles as well. But doing double duty is a nice advantage.

4.0.7 Vacuums

Vacuums are controversial. While they are available on the market as sex toys, there are numerous complaints and horror stories of problems that can occur while using them. Extreme care and caution should be followed when using these devices, and avoiding them entirely may be for the best.

Vacuums tend to be used by men. There are generally two kinds of vacuums, powered and non-powered.

The non-powered ones tend to be glass tubes with a gasket on the end, and a tube coming out the other with a hand pump attached. The man inserts his penis into the gasketed end and forms a seal, then uses the hand pump to create suction. These items are generally sold as penis enlargers, but are often sold as masturbation devices as well. Whether or not you respond to suction alone is a matter of personal enjoyment, but most men need something more. WARNINGS: Almost all of these devices are made of brittle plastic or glass which may shatter or crack. A quick-release valve should be considered an essential safety feature. Use of these devices for long periods of time or with extreme suction can be dangerous.

No device can permanently increase the size of the penis, but there have some reports of good results in older men who can no longer achieve full erections due to impaired circulation. Powered vacuums have a motor that does the work. Sex shops sell these--a hand-held vacuum unit with a sleeve on the end. Between the sleeve and the suction, it becomes a powered masturbation device. Many men, again, do not find the suction effect to be particularly enjoyable, and some toss the motor and keep the sleeve.

Women may enjoy the suction action of a vacuum, by using a canister vacuum (as opposed to an upright) and using the hose to direct suction to erogenous zones like the clitoris or nipples. Caution should be used whenever you use a motor or moving parts as part of a masturbation device, since if you catch your penis in the motor, you may end up getting hurt. Small rechargeable vacuums, like the DUSTBUSTER for instance, have a little fan attached to the motor, and it can wreak havoc with sensitive parts.

WARNINGS: Some parts of the body (such as the vagina) probably should never be exposed to the extreme suction that many household vacuum cleaners can produce. Any prolonged or extreme suction to any part of the body is likely to produce tissue damage.

4.0.8 Dildos

"In Texas, if you own 6 or more dildos, you're a felon. If you own 5 or less, you're a hobbyist". -- Molly Ivins

Dildos are sometimes used for masturbation by people of both sexes. Although penetration is not really necessary for most women to achieve orgasm, some women like the sensation of fullness that a dildo provides. Men may have similar reasons for using dildos, but often the object is provide stimulation to the prostate which is the source of ejaculation.

Dildos can be bought in a variety of shapes, sizes, lengths and styles. Some of them resemble penises more than others do. As the concept of a dildo is fairly simple, the principle considerations are safety. The same considerations apply to household objects that might be considered for use as a dildo.

Dildos should be long and have a wide base. The object of this advice is not to suggest that the full length of the dildo should be inserted, but to ensure that the dildo can be retrieved. All ridged, brittle, or breakable materials should be eliminated from consideration. This goes not only for substances like glass, wood, or brittle plastic, but also for substances that can separate, such as bananas or some of the "lifelike" rubber devices. Some commercial dildos contain metal springs, wires or other forms. These should be rejected if they can be detected because of the possibility of the wire or spring coming out of its soft cover, for if it does it almost certainly will damage delicate vaginal or anal tissue. Dildos do not have to be especially large in circumference to produce a pleasantly-full sensation.

Dildos are fairly poor at providing prostate stimulation because the prostate is not very deep at all, but it is a bit out of the way. Some slender devices with a crook in them have a much better chance of hitting pay dirt.

Dildos should not be shared without careful washing and disinfection, and dildos used for anal penetration should not be used for vaginal penetration without disinfection, even if they are used by only one person.

4.0.9 Lubes

WARNING: Although not a consideration in masturbation, oil-based lubes will weaken latex condoms and may make them ineffective in preventing disease transmission or pregnancy.

General considerations:

Lubes are applied to the most sensitive areas of the body. Some things that do not irritate other parts of the body may burn or sting or cause allergic reactions when applied to sexual areas. Often the cause of irritation is perfumes or dyes. Simpler and cheaper products usually contain few of these. For example, baby oil is simply perfumed mineral oil. If you don't want the perfume, get plain mineral oil. Some products which can be used comfortably will irritate if left on the body for long periods of time.

1) Known to be condom safe

K-Y Jelly: not so good for masturbation because it tends to become sticky and ball up if exposed to the air for a long time.

2) Known to be condom unsafe

Albolene (a facial creme): very good.

Baby Oil: good, may be too light weight for some.

Corn Husker's Lotion: good. Good also if hands are calloused. Cheap. Does not have as many perfumes an additives as some hand/body lotions.

Lubriderm Lotion: expensive. Has some additives that may irritate.

Men's Cream: adult product, made for jacking off

Mineral Oil (same as Baby Oil but without perfume)

Vaseline Petroleum Jelly: good, but hard to wash off.

Spit: although water-based, may contain enzymes that harm latex. Always available. Dries out, requires reapplication. Not slick enough for some people.

3) Not known

hair gel (like Dippety Doo): like K-Y, may dry out, may contain irritating additives. Nice consistency. Works well with insertee toy.

4.0.10 Jack-off Machines

There have been several fairly expensive machines that really will masturbate men (and with some attachments, women). One of the first of these was the Accu-Jac. Most such machines are expensive because they are more or less custom made. The currently popular one is the Venus II.

All of them pretty much work on the same principle. There is a control box which contains a pump and various controls for adjusting the pump, a plastic tube, and a more-or-less flexible plastic cylinder. In some machines the cylinder has to be carefully fitted to size of the user's penis; in others, a liner allows use of cylinders which are one of several standard sizes.

The pump does not just suck. It draws air out of the cylinder and then returns air to the cylinder. This cause the cylinder to move up and down on the penis. There are controls to adjust the length of stroke and the frequency of stroke.

Some machines come with attachment to fit in the cylinders which are essentially little dildos that can be made to poke in and out from the end of the cylinders. These come in sizes appropriate for vaginal or anal use. Some machines can accommodate four tubes, with or without separate controls, allowing four people to use the machine at once or two people to use two tubes each at once (i.e. for penile and anal, or vaginal and anal stimulation at the same time).

These machines usually get good reviews from users of the penile stimulation aspects, and less good reviews from users of the other features. The sensation of the penile stimulation is described as: "The feeling is like being jerked off by someone wearing a Vaseline-coated latex glove, except the machine is adjustable to 'stroke' at between one stroke every 2 seconds (very teasing but not enough to cause orgasm) to about 75 strokes per second (faster than anyone can move a hand). At the maximum speed, if causes me to cum in about 1 minute whether I was 'horny' or not when starting. In fact, it literally forces me to cum. At about 10 per second, I can hold back for about 10 minutes. It was worth the investment." (About the Venus II.)

5.0 Humor

5.1 Words and Phrases for Masturbation

There are many expressions for masturbation. Most of the following are meant to be humorous unless otherwise noted. [basic list contributed by "eric"]

STANDARD TERMS:

1 MASTURBATING
2 Onanism (A biblical term)
3 Playing with your penis
4 Playing with yourself
5 Beating your meat
6 Beating off
7 Jacking off
8 Jerking off
9 Stroking or stroking it
10 Stroking your cock
11 Stroking your meat
12 Getting a hand job
13 Whacking off
14 Shooting off
15 Wanking or Wanking off (Mainly a British term)
16 Getting your gun (Military term?)
17 Frigging
18 Friggin' your riggin'
19 Fucking your fist or fist fucking (but this last usually refers to anal or vaginal penetration by a hand)

OTHER PURE VERB FORMS

20 Pulling your pud
21 Pounding your pud
22 Pulling your putz (Yiddish term)
23 Flipping off
24 Rubbing the wad
24 Smacking off
25 Jerking rod
26 Firing your peter
27 Spike your cock
28 Pop your peter

DOING THINGS--ANIMAL METAPHORS

29 Milking the mouse
30 Sperming the worm
31 Loping your mule (A southernism)
32 Milking the bull (Another southernism)
33 Riding the bull
34 Whipping your turkey
35 Slapping the monkey
36 Stroking the muskrat
37 Chocking your chicken
38 Charming the snake
39 Making the hooded cobra spit
40 Strangling the goose
41 Making the rooster crow
42 Shaking the snake
43 Skinning the lizzard
44 Ride the dolphin

DOING THINGS--VEGETABLE METAPHORS

45 Popping your nuts
46 Pealing the banana
46 Rubbin' the nubbin
48 Juicing the plum (Very descriptive, I think)
49 Jerkin' your gerkin
50 Spiggin' the twig
51 Sap your woody
52 Juicing a woody
53 Spanking the stick
54 Shelling the bean pod
55 Skinning the onion
56 Slicking the slippery stick
57 Slicking your stick
58 Peeling the wand
59 Slicking the willow twig
60 Popping your cork

DOING THINGS--MINERAL METAPHORS

61 Pumping a gusher (Obviously from the Texas oil fields)
62 Panning for white gold (From California?)
63 Getting your rocks off

DOING THINGS--MUSICAL

64 Playing your flute
65 Tootling your flute
66 Pounding the pipes
67 Playing a tune on the pork flute
68 Ringing your dong
69 Playing the skinflute
70 Organ solo (or duet?)

MEAT AND BONE -- Beating your meat (Not counted--repeat from standard)

71 Skinning the weenie
72 Bone it off
73 Bopping the baloney
74 Bouncing your boner
75 Slapping your boner
76 Boffing your boner
77 Slapping the salami

JUICE & CREAM

78 Jazzing your juicer
79 Creaming your cock
80 Pumping up ball juice
81 Churning man cream
82 Letting loose the juice
83 Milk your dick
84 Making prick juice
85 Milking your doodle
86 Cruising for an oozing
87 Pumping the juice handle

EXERCISE & GAMES

88 Rubbin' the rigid rod
89 Playing pocket pool
90 Four fingered shuffle (as opposed to 2 fingered shuffle; female)
91 Five fingered shuffle or (There seems to be some
92 Five fingered exercise disagreement as to the number of fingers used--but everybody has his own technique)
93 Pumping the muscle
94 Stiffening your noodle
95 Hand to gland combat (I also like this new term!)
96 Blasting a pocket rocket
97 Tickle your dick

THINGS ABOUT PEOPLE

98 Irking the dude--Recently sent to me--I really like it
99 Flogging the bishop
100 Pleasing the pope
101 Spanking Elvis
102 Making out with yourself
103 Punishing your clown
104 Having a date with Rosy and her 4 sisters
105 An outing with Tom Thumb and his four brothers

WORK? (Nice Work If You Can Get It)

106 Lubing the tube
107 Sowing your seed
108 Trimming your wick
109 Polishing your knob
110 Pumping the piston
111 Pumping the magic Jerkins' lotion handle
112 Popping a wad by hand
113 Cumming by hand

OTHER

114 Jerking your joy stock
115 Jazzing your joy stick
116 Jacking your joy stick
117 Juicing your joy stick
118 Wet dream on demand
119 Having the urge for a surge
120 Cum in the air
121 Go to Bangkok or Come from Bangkok
122 There is also ABUSING YOURSELF--I've never understood why it'scalled that, since everybody does it and enjoys it so much.

5.2 Why Masturbation is So Popular [attributed to "eric"]

1. It is so easy to do--no special skills need to be taught, despite the argument of Dr. Elders. (Reference is a Surgeon General of the US appointed in the Clinton administration, who was dismissed after stating publicly that children should be taught ABOUT masturbation, which was alleged to mean children should be taught TO masturbate.)

2. No special equipment is needed, although a lotion, KY jelly, a leather thong, or steel cock ring can enhance the pleasure.

3. It can be done anywhere that is private or semi-private- Sometimes the risk of being discovered heightens the excitement.

4. It doesn't take a large amount of your time to whack off--unlike improving your mind or building impressive biceps.

5. Any number can play--All alone, several guys fooling around in a circle jerk, a JO club, or with one special buddy.

6. It can be done very quietly--just an intake of breath at the crucial moment--or fortissimo--"I'm cumming, I'M CUMMING, OH GOD I'M CUUUUMMMMMIIINNNGGG!" rendered in tenor or baritone, but if rendered jointly by tenor and baritone becomes positively antiphonal.

7. In its simplest form (alone), you can be completely selfish and not worry about the emotional or physical needs of anyone else. (Was it good for you too, Dear?)

8. There is no financial cost involved--masturbation, like butterflies, is free.

9. It doesn't ruin your liver like alcohol or run your lungs like tobacco.

10. It's safe--you don't get VD or AIDS.

11. It isn't fattening--All that fist action must burn some calories.

12. It is relaxing after a long tension filled day.

13. It isn't against the law--Some acts may still be prohibited by consenting adults, but there has never been a law against the simple jerk-off. (Has there?)

14. It isn't even immoral. (Those fundamentalist who think it is immoral do it anyway and lie about it, which makes it OK.)

15. The building up and then the intense burst of pleasure is a tremendous psychological high without drugs.

16. It doesn't produce unwanted children, thus contributing to the elimination of child abuse.

6.0 Jack/Jacks & Jills Clubs

6.0.1 Commercial Clubs

There are commercial jack-off clubs. All of these that are known are for men only. They differ from bathhouses in that they strictly disallow anything except manual contact. There is no point in trying to list any of them because they blip into and out of existence so fast. Since only manual sex is allowed, these clubs can exist in virtually any warehouse--cleanup requires only a few paper towels and not a large shower facility. Consult the gay barrag in very large cities to learn where they are, or ask any bartender in a gay bar. A few commercial sex clubs for men and women have existed, and perhaps some still exist. None that restrict activities to manual sex are known.

6.0.2 Large Organizations--Public Events

In major cities there are Jacks clubs and some Jack & Jill clubs which sometimes do hold events that members of the public may attend. These are like raves--generally you learn about them from flyers or word of mouth only at the last moment. Often these are benefits or fund-raisers and some admission fee is charged.

6.0.3 Smaller Organizations--Private parties

In smaller cities there are many Jacks and Jacks & Jills clubs. They usually find new members with discreet little ads that give a P.O. Box or phone number that goes to voice mail for more information. Legitimate organizations will not charge anything to give you information or to allow you to apply for membership. But like all clubs, there will be modest dues or modest door charges to cover expenses. Jack & Jill clubs tend to overlap in membership with swingers' clubs, but they are not the same thing.

6.0.4 How to organize parties.

1. Start small. Parties organized electronically tend not to happen. Many people post that they will show up, about four do, and nothing happens because these four don't know each other. They sit around nervously waiting for others to arrive, they stay fully dressed, nothing happens, they all go home.

So do not rely on mass posting or count on a hundred guests. Aim for a small number at first, perhaps six or a dozen. You need a core group of dedicated people who are determined to make it happen. Although you may try to get to know one another through email, it is a good idea to meet in person before the party, perhaps in a public place like a restaurant or bar.

There should be a basic agreement on the ground rules. The foremost of these is that for a "Jacks and Jills" party admission must be by opposite-sex pairs only. This does not mean that the pair is couple, and in fact it is desirable that they not consider themselves a couple at the party. But unless something is done to assure men and women attend in equal numbers, the number of stag males will far exceed the number of females and this will intimidate the females.

2. How the party works:

Have a small entry area where people can enter fully dressed, a disrobing area, and an area where clothing is not allowed, no exceptions.

The entry area should not have any amenities--no place to sit, no entertainment, no refreshment. People in the entry area should not be able to see the other areas. It is simply so people can come in from the street fully dressed. Everyone should be encouraged to proceed to the disrobing area immediately, and loiterers should be ask to leave. The greeter should have a robe handy so he or she can let people in. Don't tell people who or how many people are in the nude area--they have to disrobe and go back there if they want to find out.

The disrobing area should have some provision for people to keep their things together, such as large paper bags that can be stapled shut. Some consideration should be given to security. Unfortunately unpleasant things can happen even in small parties. People should be discouraged from bringing or wearing anything valuable. People should not have access to other people's things in the disrobing area, but the marked bags or other containers should be removed to a locked closet or other secure area by the greeter.

The no clothing area should be one large room with access to a bathroom. In smaller homes this might have to be several smaller rooms. The ideal is everyone plays together in the same room and this should be followed as much as possible. If it is necessary to use two rooms, one should be open and sparsely furnished so that a many people as possible can join the activities there, and the other should have the refreshments and seating for those who are taking a temporary break from the action. It may be desirable not to open the "break room" until things get going in the activity room, otherwise people may hide out in the break room and not get involved in the activities. Have refreshments and diversions--such as video and music--in the nude area so if nothing is happening at the moment people will be inclined to hang around awhile. Most people are most comfortable in the nude areas if the lighting is not very bright, but people should be able to see across the whole area without straining. Provide plenty of paper towels and wastebaskets, and various lubes.

There are some rules which might as well be written in the disrobing area if you expect many inexperienced attendees: essentially these are very simple: anyone may watch anything that is going on (yes, this means *gasp* that someone ugly might look at your beautiful body) but any contact must cease immediately if one party requests that it stop and contact may not be reestablished unless the person who requested that it stop *explicitly* reinitiates it, absolutely no oral-genital, oral-anal, genital-anal, genital-genital contact -- usually this means no kissing below the waist--sometimes stated as hands only below the waist. Some clubs are strictly show only, allowing no contact at all.

It is best to have three or four key people who have some experience, or at least have a great deal of commitment who will act as icebreakers to initiate the activities, perhaps with a show. Once a group is established there will be "old hands" to take the lead, but this can be a fairly daunting task when everyone is a first-timer.

Pairing off and cruising should be discouraged. There are plenty of other places for that. Some clubs find it especially liberating to include people of various types, ages, and backgrounds. Others prefer to be very selective. Open type clubs run the risk of overly-aggressive less-attractive types running off more-attractive members. Closed type clubs run the risk of becoming vain, posing contests. In either case, it is essential that core members exert leadership to maintain a warm friendly atmosphere, to redirect overly aggressive behaviors and to encourage the aloof to lighten up.

alt.sex.masturbation

Frequently Asked Questions
Part 4


X1. A partial listing of personal ad groups.

Note: Be sure to post only to regional groups that apply to you. Check the group's FAQ and read messages in the group before posting. The groups have various attitudes concerning how explicit ads should be. Most do not want commercial ads, so if you are selling something, even if it is only your body, look for one of the marketplace groups. Beware: obviously I haven't checked out every group, and there may be some joke groups. There are a few notes explaining the groups, but these are mine. They are not official descriptions, and they may be wrong. Alt.sex.cancel is a test group; anything posted to it or crossposted to it should be cancelled.

alt.nv.personals
alt.personals
alt.personals.ads
alt.personals.aliens
alt.personals.bi
alt.personals.big-folks
alt.personals.bondage
alt.personals.d (d means discussion of personals, not the ads themselves)
alt.personals.fat
alt.personals.fetish
alt.personals.herpes
alt.personals.intercultural
alt.personals.intergen
alt.personals.jewish
alt.personals.misc
alt.personals.motss (motss=members of the same sex)
alt.personals.poly(multiple partners)
alt.personals.spanking
alt.personals.tall
alt.personals.teen
alt.personals.transgendered
alt.herpes.personals
alt.personals.big-folks
alt.va.personals
aus.personals (Australia)
austin.personals(Austin, TX)
av.personals
ba.personals(Bay Area: San Francisco, Berkeley, etc.)
chi.personals
dfw.personals(Dallas-Ft. Worth)
houston.personals
israel.ads.personals
ithaca.personals
la.personals
md.personals
niagara.personals
nv.personals
nyc.personals
ott.personals
pdaxs.ads.personals
pnw.personals
sat.personals
sdnet.personals
slo.personals
triangle.personals (North Carolina)
triangle.personals.bi
triangle.personals.friendship
triangle.personals.m-seeking-m
triangle.personals.m-seeking-w
triangle.personals.motss
triangle.personals.variations
triangle.personals.w-seeking-m
triangle.personals.w-seeking-w
ucb.personals
uk.adverts.personals
us.sc.chester.personals
us.sc.columbia.personals
us.sc.lancaster.personals
vegas.personals
alt.va.personals

X2. Some other sex-oriented groups

Note: Read the group and the FAQ before posting. Some of these may be inactive or joke groups. This is not a complete list.

alt.sex.anal
alt.sex.balls
alt.sex.bestiality
alt.sex.bondage
alt.sex.breast
alt.sex.brothels
alt.sex.erotica.marketplace(Commercial ads go here)
alt.sex.escorts.ads(ads go here)
alt.sex.escorts.ads.d(d means discussion of ads, not the ads themselves)
alt.sex.exhibitionism
alt.sex.fat
alt.sex.fetish.amputee
alt.sex.fetish.diapers
alt.sex.fetish.feet
alt.sex.fetish.sailor-moon
alt.sex.fetish.scat (scat = shit play)
alt.sex.homosexual
alt.sex.incest
alt.sex.intergen
alt.sex.magazines
alt.sex.motss
alt.sex.oral
alt.sex.orgy
alt.sex.pedophilia
alt.sex.phone
alt.sex.pictures.d (d means discussion of pictures, not pictures themselves)
alt.sex.prostitution
alt.sex.sm(sm=sadomasochism)
alt.sex.stories
alt.sex.stories.bondage
alt.sex.stories.d(d means discussion of stories, not stories themselves)
alt.sex.stories.gay
alt.sex.stories.hetero
alt.sex.stories.incest
alt.sex.stories.moderated
alt.sex.swingers
alt.sex.tasteless
alt.sex.telephone
alt.sex.voyeurism
alt.sex.wanted.escorts.ads(ads go here)
alt.sex.wanted.escorts.ads.d(d means discussion of ads, not ads themselves)
alt.sex.wanted.models
alt.sex.watersports(watersports = urine play)

X3. Some pictures (binary) groups

Note: look at groups before posting. .d means it is a discussion group. Don't put pictures in a discussion group. If the group doesn't say "male," "men," or something of the sort, it probably is devoted to women (i.e. "pornstars" usually means only female pornstars, and "cheerleaders" usually means only female cheerleaders). The Internet is world-wide and some images on it may be considered illegal in various jurisdictions but not in others.

Some of these groups were meant to be jokes, and some were meant to be empty so that a group lower on the hierarchy could be created. Now many of them will have something in them because spammers have put stuff in every group and new users have not understood the purpose of the original group.

alt.binaires.pictures.erotica.moderated
alt.binaires.pictures.erotica.teen
alt.binaries.pictures.bigbutts
alt.binaries.pictures.bisexuals
alt.binaries.pictures.black.erotic.females
alt.binaries.pictures.bruce-lloyd
alt.binaries.pictures.cocks
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.amateur.d
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.amateur.female
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.amateur.male
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.animals
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.anime
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.art.pin-up
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.autos
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.balls
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.bears (hefty, hairy men)
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.bestiality
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.biker-chicks
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.black.females
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.black.male
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.blondes
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.bondage
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.breasts
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.butts
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.cartoons
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.cheerleaders
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.d
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.disney
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.facials(ejaculation on faces)
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.female
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.female.anal
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fetish
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fetish.feet
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fetish.hair
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fetish.latex
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fetish.leather
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.furry
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.garters-and-heels
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.gaymen
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.groupsex
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.gymnast-girls
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.high-heels
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.hornyrob
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.indian-asian
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.interracial
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.koo.sisters
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.kwakiutl
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.latina
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.lesbians
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.lolita
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.male
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.male.anal
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.male.chubby
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.mardi-gras
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.midgets
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.moderated
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.nativeamerican
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.nose
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.oral
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.orientals
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.panties
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.plushies
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.pornstar
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.pornstars
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.pregnant
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.puffies
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.redheads
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.scanmaster
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.schoolgirls
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.spanking
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.spatch
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.tasteless
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.teen.d
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.teen.female
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.teen.female.masturbation
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.teen.fuck
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.teen.male
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.terry.agar
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.transvestites
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.uncut(uncircumcized males)
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.urine
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.voyeurism
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.young
alt.binaries.pictures.groupsex
alt.binaries.pictures.lesbians
alt.binaries.pictures.lingerie
alt.binaries.pictures.lingerie.bigbutts
alt.binaries.pictures.lolita
alt.binaries.pictures.lolita.misc
alt.binaries.pictures.nude.celebrities
alt.binaries.pictures.nude.female
alt.binaries.pictures.nude.female.bodybuilders
alt.binaries.pictures.nudism
alt.binaries.pictures.nylons
alt.binaries.pictures.pantyhose
alt.binaries.pictures.utilities(viewers, decoders, etc.)
alt.binaries.pictures.victoria.secret
alt.binaries.pictures.voyeurism
alt.sex.bestiality.pictures
alt.sex.masturbation.pictures
alt.sex.masturbation.pictures.female
alt.sex.masturbation.pictures.female.teen
alt.sex.pictures.d
alt.sex.pictures.female
alt.sex.pictures.male

X4. What you should know about 011 long distance.

You may find advertisements for various kinds of phone sex or sex bulletin boards (BBS) which try to convince you to call a long distance number that begins with 011.

These services are described as being "free." Often the claim is "only regular long distance charges apply." The services make their money from kickbacks from foreign telephone companies. Although there may be a low per-minute rate quoted, such calls invariably incur a very large connect fee (like $23).

Ads for these services do not belong in this discussion group (alt.sex.masturbation) but belong in one of the commercial sex groups. If you wish paid sex telephone services, please patronize those companies which advertise only in appropriate ad groups, but most of all, investigate what your calls will cost.

The hidden charges will appear on your long distance telephone bill and if you did make the calls there will be virtually no way to avoid paying (provided you hope to keep you telephone service).

Most of the 011 numbers are for Guyana (of cyanide Kool-Aide fame) or for Singapore. You will notice also that most of the ads are forgeries.


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