San Francisco Sexuality Resources
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Introduction
This guide provides brief descriptions and contact information for some
of the sex-positive cultural resources of San Francisco, California.
Before beginning, we should pause to mention that:
- This guide is only intended for (and frankly only of use to)
consenting adults, since the overwhelming majority of the organizations
it describes are restricted to participants over the age of 18 or 21.
- This guide comes with no accuracy guarantees, may eventually go out
of date, in some points is (by necessity) based on second-hand
suggestions rather than the first-hand experience of its creators, and
in using it you release its creators from any liability concerning it.
In other words, it is at best a starting point, and never a substitute
for using good judgment.
- There is always time in life for new experiences, but some health
and safety mistakes can't be undone: if you haven't learned enough about
safer sex to know what you need to do to preserve your own health and
that of those around you, or aren't sure whether you're the sort of
person who can stick with what you've decided, then this isn't the guide
you should be reading right now.
- Common courtesy, and asking whenever you're unsure whether something
is OK, never go out of style.
- Three national non-profit organizations actively defending the
freedoms which sex-positive culture depends on are the ACLU (see
http://www.aclu.org), the National
Coalition for Sexual Freedom (see http://www.ncsfreedom.org), and the
work the Planned Parenthood Foundation does to maintain access to
birth control and STD prevention measures (see http://www.plannedparenthood.org).
Consider supporting their work if you can.
- If you sometimes travel to other cities on the West Coast, then you
may also wish to check out our Sexuality.org
West Coast Awards.
This guide was last modified on September 27, 2007, and is in part based on information gathered during a real-life
visit to San Francisco over May 21-25, 2003.
Sex Education
Mixed-gender
- Good Vibrations hosts a wide
range of classes each month in their stores: click on "Educational
Programs" in their web site followed by "After Hours Events" to see a
listing. Most are mixed-gender but a few are women-only.
- Select "San Francisco Classes" followed by "Meeting People /
Intimacy" on the Learning
Annex site for evening classes on topics such flirting, sensual
dance, and Tantra.
- A new organization called OneTaste is now offering a wide range
of sexuality and sensuality classes at their dedicated venue on Folsom
Street.
- The SFSI Educator
Training is open for anyone to take, though it makes the most sense
for people who would like to staff the SFSI volunteer hotline.
- The Insitute for the Advanced Study
of Sexology offers independent graduate coursework, and several
certificate programs, in sexology.
- Fairy Butch offers workshops
in gender and sexuality, as well as hosting the monthly "In Bed With
Fairy Butch" cabaret.
- In cooperation with Joseph Kramer, founder of the Body Electric
School, the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality is now
offering a Sexological
Bodywork Certificate. For those completely untrained in massage who
would like to reach a more advanced level than a typical weekend
workshop would provide, the Body
Electric School offers their basic massage courses (for both men and
women) in the Oakland area.
Men-only
Women-only
- Some of the after hours workshops at Good Vibrations.
- Slinky Productions
offers workshops and individualized lessons for women on erotic dance,
along with women's tours and couple's tours of the North Beach strip
clubs.
GLBT Resources
General
You'll find a wide selection of community events, newspapers, and flyers
at the city's impressive GLBT
Community Center. Another community institution is A Different Light Books, the city's
oldest and best-known gay and lesbian bookstore. In print the SF Bay
Times contains excellent listings of GLBT resources and events, and
online larrybob's list is often
useful.
Lesbian or Bi Women
Dance and social venues for women include The Lexington (San Francisco's
full-time lesbian bar), and El Rio
(offering dancing, music, and open-mic events). The Women's Building offers
affordable meeting space for community groups, and offers an event
schedule of its own.
Gay or Bi Men
One popular educational resource is the Leathermen's Discussion Group, which
hosts educational programs for both novices and experts on a wide range
of leather interests. In a more specialized vein, men with uniform
fetishes may wish to check out Men of
Discipline. For
bears and their admirers there's Bears of
San Francisco, and there's also a bay area Radical Faeries
hotline.
Bi Men and Women
BiFriendly hosts bi-friendly
social events in San Francisco and surrounding areas (South Bay Bisexual Organizers and
Activists is the equivalent organization in San Jose). For a good
history of bi activism in the bay area, visit the Bay Area Bisexual Network site and click
on "Who We Are." Two good ways to keep up on what's happening are the
BABN Events and Chat Lists and the Bi the Bay
LiveJournal community.
Transgender
For most alternately-gendered folks, TransGender San Francisco is a solid place
to start: it's the oldest transgender educational and social
organization
in the United States. Some FTM folks may wish to start with FTM International, which is the
longest-running educational organization for FTM's and trans men in the
United States. Both TransGender San Francisco and Transbay offer up-to-date online
resource guides.
Adam to Eve Transformations offers
makeovers, wig styling, and related services, while Trannyshack remains the most popular
drag event in the city. On a slightly different note, a nightclub
called Diva's may be the country's only
full-time openly transgendered strip club.
Dancing
Mixed-gender/orientation Clubs
Even including this section may be a lost cause, as clubs come and go, and
wax and wane, with frequency. But at least for the last several years
the high-energy EndUp has been
fixtures of the local scene. The crowd depends on the event and the night
of the week, check their web sites to make a choice on which is right for
you.
Recently there has been a trend of dance parties positioned much
like off-premise swing events but advertised to a younger crowd, with an
emphasis on dressing up, and restricted in attendance to couples and women
only: Pleasurezone is one example.
One source of current information on the club scene is the San Francisco Bay Guardian web site,
click on both "Bars and Clubs" and "Music Listings".
Fetish Fashion and Gothic Events
Five currently-popular dress-up events are Bondage-a-go-go, Club Iniquity, Slick Productions, and the annual Fetish Ball.
This is, of course, likely to change over time.
The best-maintained source of information on gothic nights is the
SFGoth web site.
BDSM/Leather/Kink
Community Event Calendars
For the mixed-gender BDSM community, the calendar maintained on the Society of Janus site is a great choice.
For the men's leather community, there's the
San Francisco Leather Page. The
Exiles calendar specializes in the
women's community.
Education
The best place for most people to start is the Society of Janus, which is the second
oldest BDSM organization in the united states (right after TES in New
York); they have a rich schedule of educational events and panels each
month, and also offer a monthly munch for new people.
In addition to the Society of Janus, some other current venues
for BDSM-related workshops and classes in San Francisco are QSM, Mr. S Leather, and Madame S. The Knotty Boys offer bondage workshops,
Cleo Bubois offers multi-day
workshops (including several for people who are interested in pro-domme
work as a career), and Midori has moved
into doing education full-time.
Women who prefer to learn (or socialize) in a women-only environment
should look into joining Exiles and
attending their monthly workshops. A new organization called Screwup offers similar events for the trans community.
Social, Support, and Play Organizations
Leathermen who prefer the social and erotic company of other men will
probably want to look into the 15 Association, which sponsors
regular play parties and the annual Bootcamp weekend.
More specialized San Francisco leather community organizations are
available for those into animal
roleplay (e.g. dressing up in leather pony harnesses), who enjoy
going on motorcycle runs, or
who are Catholic.
Men's Leather Bars
The Powerhouse (which also
offers SM demos during the month) is very
popular.
Out of Town Organizations
SM Odyssey and The Scenery in San Jose both offer
parties and workshops. Backdrop
offers parties, workshops, and a library for their members in Mountain
View. Fantasy Makers offers
workshops in El Cerrito, and Pleasure Bound offers social
events in Sacramento.
Swing Clubs
On-premise events include Barry and
Shell's and Arena Club.
Off-premise events include Options Socials in
Sacramento.
Sex Clubs
Mixed-Gender Sex Clubs
The Power Exchange Substation
(i.e. the bottom two floors of the Power Exchange building) are mixed
gender when open, except on their one women-only event a month. If
you're a male who is sexually attracted only to females, then the Power
Exchange Substation will be the most fun if you bring a partner with you
rather than expecting to meet up with someone there. The Power Exchange
is the largest sex club in the world, and as a fully public mixed-gender
club where sex is allowed and single males may be freely admitted, it is
the only venue of its kind in the city.
However, please note that traditionally the most ground-breaking
mixed-gender events in San Francisco have tended to be invitation-only,
and not advertised publicly. The longer you stay involved the community
and the most you contribute to it, the more of them you'll hear about
and possibly be invited to.
Men's Sex Clubs
Blow Buddies (which also hosts
Golden Shower Buddies, Bondage Buddies, Underwear Buddies on various
nights of the month) has an excellent local repution and is
extremely popular. Eros is
particularly clean and well-lit, and very popular on weekends. Mack has a rougher reputation
than the other clubs, according to Betty and Pansy's Guide.
Although there are no bathhouses in San Francisco (the aforementioned
clubs are not technically bathhouses, as they do not provide fully
private space) but in Berkeley there's one called Steamworks.
A "loose, goofy, and semi-spontaneous" group of men's j/o enthusiasts
called SF Jacks meets at one of the
above SF clubs twice a month.
A cautionary, though hopefully obvious, reminder may be in order here:
you cannot tell whether somebody is HIV-positive or HIV-negative based
on how they look, or based on anything they say. Please, don't take
chances with your own health, or that of another.
Polyamory Organizations and Resources
The best place to start is the SFBay-Poly Online
Calendar, though if time permits you may also wish to subscribe to
Bay Area
Spiritual Polyamory and/or Bay Area
Polyamory. Additionally, the Loving
More West Coast Conferences are typically held once a year.
A list of local poly-friendly therapists and services is maintained at
the polychromatic web
site, two examples being Geri Weitzman and
Integrated
Healing Arts.
To the south of San Francisco (in San Jose) the South Bay Poly
Group holds monthly discussions, while the North Bay Poly
Mailing List serves Marin, Sonoma, and Mendocino counties.
Workshops on Spiritualized Sexuality
Same-Gender Classes
The Body Electric School offers
their full range of men-only and women-only classes in nearby Oakland. The
Flesh and Spirit Community
specializes in men's workshops, while Love Journey specializes in
women's workshops.
Mixed-Gender Classes
The Human Awareness Institute and the Institute for Ecstatic Living
both sponsor workshops throughout the year at at the Harbin Center. Celebrations of Love also
hosts a rich schedule of Tantra-related events in this area, while the Center for Healing and Expression
hosts them more sporadically. Deborah Anapol, Jwala, and Annie Sprinkle often host
workshops in San Francisco or nearby Marin County, and the nearby Wildwood
Retreat Center is used by the Body
Electric School for their mixed-gender Sacred Intimacy and Two Spirits
workshops. Further south are the Steel Door workshops, which typically focus on both BDSM and spiritual practices.
Shopping
Sex Toys
Good Vibrations is the place to
go for most sex toys and video rentals. For a more extensive selection
of BDSM equipment, try Mr.
S Leather and Stormy
Leather.
Clothing and Body Modification
Try Stormy Leather and Madame S first for women's leather
and fetish fashion. Mr S
Leather is an excellent choice for for most men's leather and fetish
clothing, though you can also check check Leather Etc for deals while you're
in the neighborhood.
Either Romantasy or Dark Garden sell corsets.
Popular boutiques for women's lingerie include Chadwick's of
London, My Boudoir, Toujours, and Les Cent
Culottes.
For drag clothing, see Piedmont.
For women's dance wear and club wear, see NY Apparel.
Black n Blue
Tattoo for tattoos and Body
Manipulations for piercing are the most common recommendations for
body modification.
Annual Events
HIV/STD Testing, Reproductive Health, and Counseling
HIV/STD testing referrals are available through the San Francisco
AIDS Foundation, though one commonly-used location is the San Francisco City
Clinic. A Planned Parenthood
clinic is located dowtown at 815 Eddy Street, and offers drop-in hours
for emergency contraception. Kink-aware physician and psychotherapist
listings are available on the KAP list.
One apparently well-respected sex therapist in the San Francisco area is
Claudia Six.
Sexual Entertainment and Club Guides
For the straight world, the book Horny?
San Fransico picks up where the guide you're reading now leaves
off.
For the gay and drag world, the book Betty
and Pansy's Severe Queer Review of San Francisco picks up where
the guide you're reading now leaves off, and also does a particularly good
job of covering the gay bars and dance clubs.
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