Seattle Sexuality Resources
This guide to Seattle's sex-positive resources is intended only for
adults, and assumes familiarity with safer sex precautions as well as the
self-discipline necessary to practice them.
Two national non-profits which defend the fundamental freedoms
sex-positive culture relies on are the ACLU (http://www.aclu.org) and the National
Coalition for Sexual Freedom (http://www.ncsfreedom.org).
Planned Parenthood Foundation (http://www.plannedparenthood.org)
birth control and STD education efforts are also important. If you enjoy
reading this guide, consider supporting at least one of these three
The latest version of this guide is available at http://www.sexuality.org/seattle.html
These resources may be considered good starting points because
participation in them is open regardless of gender or orientation, and
because they strive to serve many different parts of this region's
- The Center for Sex-Positive Culture
- (formerly known as ``The Wet Spot'' or ``The SPCC'') is
a non-profit organization which operates a real-life, membership-based
community center for the benefit of the Pacific Northwest's sex-positive
culture. Currently housed in a 4400 square foot main building (with
several annexes) near downtown Seattle, this organization is unique in
that it strives to serve all the local communities which comprise
its region's sex-positive culture (e.g., the BDSM community as well as
elements of the swing community, and everything around and in-between).
This organization is a good starting point because it offers a wide
variety of events, classes, dances, vendor fairs, informal social
evenings, guest speakers, an extensive library, and discussion/support
groups, with something almost every night of the week, and because gender
and orientation are not barriers to membership (for example: single men
are as welcome as single women). See http://www.sexpositiveculture.org
for information on becoming a member as well as their current event
schedule, and http://www.paradiseunbound.com
for information on their annual campout called ``Paradise.'' It's
also well worth noting that several local merchants offer 10% discounts to
current CSPC members, including Babeland, Wild at Heart, and The Crypt.
- is one of only a small handful of sex toy stores across the country
which would be comfortable to almost anybody, and serves a unifying and
welcoming role in our area similar to that of the CSPC. In addition to
knowledgeable and friendly staff, and a selection of the best available
sex toys, movies, and books, this shop offers flyers and networking
information for other local organizations along with excellent
monthly classes (see their web site for details). Babeland is located at
707 E Pike Street in Seattle's Capitol Hill neighborhood. See http://www.babeland.com for
The Swing Community (aka ``The Lifestyle'')
- New Horizons
- is widely considered the most beautiful on-premise club in the entire
country. Located on thirteen acres of wonderfully landscaped property and
offering a full range of amenities including three hot tubs, it's easily
the most luxurious sex-positive venue in the entire Pacific Northwest. It
is not uncommon for a Saturday party at New Horizons to be attended by
over 200 people. See http://www.horizonsclub.com for
more information on this club (including a virtual tour) and the process
- Eros Events
- hosts its events at a Redmond retreat center with a unique indoor
heated pool. More information is available at http://www.eros-events.org
- The Sapphire Network
- is Seattle's newest club, and hosts its events at a variety of
locations. More information is available at http://www.thesapphire.net
- Pacific Sex-Positive Group
- hosts one event every month. See http://groups.yahoo.com/group/pspg/ for more information.
- Washington Swing City
- hosts two events every month in the Tacoma area. See http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Washington_Swing_City/
for more information.
- Original Circles
- See http://www.original-circles.com for more information.
This organization hosts two dances a month and an annual getaway called ``Campout.''
- Northwest Couples and Bi Females
- See http://www.nwcbf.com for more
information. This is an online discussion group which also hosts regular
social events, including an annual campout.
The BDSM/Leather/Fetish Community
Seattle's BDSM community is particularly active and vibrant, and is distinguished
from similar communities in other cities by its relative ease of entry as well
as by its unusually low levels of separation/misunderstanding between its gay
men's leather community, its gay women's leather community, and its ``pansexual''
leather community. [Note: This has been a defining characteristic of Seattle's BDSM
community for some time, and largely stems from the various communities which
comprise it sharing physical space to an unusual degree. The legendary ``KC''
parties, held from 1989-1994 on reserved nights at a local on-premise swing
club, attracted almost the entire BDSM community due to the physical beauty
and size of the space. From 1995-1999, a Capitol Hill restaurant called ``Beyond the Edge Café'' served as a nexus for the entire community due to its
central location and friendly management. After this restaurant's closure and
the Center for Sex-Positive Culture's subsequent opening in 1999,
the CSPC (in part due to its
size and in part to the inclusive nature of its mission) has had a similarly
- The Center for Sex-Positive Culture
- hosts pansexual (i.e. open to all genders and sexual orientations)
BDSM play parties every Saturday, men-only play parties on one Friday a month,
women-only play parties on another Friday of the month, one bondage party a
month, several workshops a month, a variety of BDSM-related discussion and support
groups, and typically a monthly guest speaker or author appearance followed
by a special theme party. See http://www.sexpositiveculture.org for more information
on becoming a member.
- hosts BDSM-related workshops in their store fairly frequently,
which anyone may register for. See http://www.babeland.com for a current
- The Seattle area has a long-standing tradition of informal BDSM
community social gatherings at local restaurants (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munch_(BDSM)
for background). The best way to find the current list is to sign up for a
free FetLife (http://www.fetlife.com) account and
search for the group Seattle_Talking
For the Men's BDSM/Leather Community
- Seattle Men in Leather
- is a social and educational organization for the Seattle men's leather
community. SML hosts a variety
of events for their members, including brunches, dress code socials
at The Cuff (their home bar), and club nights at two of Seattle's men's bathhouses.
They also host an annual run called ``Equinox'' and a monthly
``Tribal Instinct'' men-only educational workshop. See http://www.seattlemeninleather.org
- Leather Bars
- Although not restricted to men, Seattle's leather bars are definitely
geared towards men. The two most popular bars are The Cuff (1533 13th
Ave, see http://www.cuffcomplex.com) and the Seattle Eagle (314
East Pike Street, see http://www.seattleeagle.com). The
Eagle is smaller,
and has a ``rougher'' feel, while the Cuff features a full dance floor and an
For the Women's BDSM/Leather Community
- Women's Welcoming Committee
- Monthly meetings, open to women only, which provide an introduction to
all that's available in the Seattle area. Questions are welcome, and
experienced players are also welcome to attend and share their
perspective. See http://www.wwcseattle.org for
- Seattle girls of Leather
- A group of self-identified Leathergirls which hosts monthly meetings
as well as a discussion board, performs outreach at Leather events
throughout the Puget Sound area, and volunteers for a variety of
non-profit organizations. See http://www.sgol.org for details.
- Havoc Seattle
- An annual leatherwomen's conference. See http://www.havocseattle.com for
Other Seattle BDSM/Leather Resources
- Leather Reign
An annual Seattle leather community conference focusing on D/s, more
advanced how-to workshops, and the ``why'' of BDSM. See http://www.leatherreign.org for
- Bondage Lessons by Max
- Customized workshops and classes on bondage technique. See http://www.bondagelessons.com
- The Palms Seattle
- A mixed gender spanking group, which hosts one social dinner a
month, a monthly video review brunch, and a monthly ladies luncheon.
Out-of-Town BDSM/Leather Resources
- Triskeli Guild
- Located near Bellingham, this organization sponsors the annual In the Woods campout. More details are available at http://www.triskeli.org
The Center for Sex-Positive Culture hosts an event called
``Grind'' every Thursday, distinguished from similar events in
Seattle by the fact that their facility is alcohol-free and smoke-free,
and by the fact that play equipment and space are provided. Another
popular spot (generally with more of a goth crowd) is the private club
known as Mercury (http://mercuryatmachinewerks.com).
Fetish, gothic, or at least black clothing is the norm in each case.
Women who prefer
women-only dance spaces should check out Girl4Girl Seattle (see
http://www.girl4girlseattle.com) and Cherry (see http://www.cherryseattle.com).
Men and women who are either above-average in size/weight, or who love
women who meet that description, might enjoy checking out the dances
offered by BBWNorthwest. See http://www.bbwnorthwest.com for
Classes on various types of sexy dancing are available through (for
example) the Academy of Burlesque (see http://www.academyofburlesque.com)
and Pole for the Soul (see http://www.poleforthesoul.com).
Men's Bathhouses and Clubs
These clubs are intended for men who have
sex with men, and are open until at least 5am seven days a week.
As a practical matter, if you have unsafe sex at places like these (ESPECIALLY anal intercourse without a condom),
no matter what the guy you met there looks like or what he
tells you, then you may be clinically insane: safer sex is always
important, but here it's particularly important.
- is located at 1520 Summit (see http://www.steamworksonline.com).
It has a traditional men's bathhouse
- Club Z Baths
- is located at 1117 Pike Street (see http://www.thezclub.com). This club
seems to attract an especially diverse clientele, and hosts Seattle Men in
Leather's club night on the second Thursday of each month.
Spiritual Sexuality Classes and Workshops
- Body Electric School
- This school offers both its men's and women's courses in the Seattle
area. See http://www.thebodyelectricschool.com
- The Present Sense
- Robyn Lynn, instructor. See http://www.thepresentsense.com
- Learning Tantra
- Tanja Diamond, instructor. See http://www.learningtantra.com
- Sacred Exploration
- Betty Martin, instructor. See http://www.bettymartin.org
- Kissing School
- Cherie Byrd, instructor. See http://www.kissingschool.com
Erotic Arts Events
- Seattle Erotic Art Festival
- This annual erotic art festival has gathered national attention
the quality of its offerings. Some art is offered for display only, some
for sale, and some for auction. Represented are typically some of the
best erotic artists working today, though artists at any stage of their
careers are encouraged to submit their work to the festival committee for
consideration. See http://www.seattleerotic.org for information.
- Poly Potlucks
- A long-standing Seattle tradition, these events are held on
the third Sunday of every month. After a potluck dinner, attendees
break into small groups to discuss some aspect of polyamory, as it applies to
their lives. See http://www.scn.org/~spg/ for more information.
- Poly Campouts
- Polycamp (see http://www.polycamp.org) has been held each year since 2004: they've been well-received so far, and will probably continue to grow in attendance over the next several years.
- Poly Workshops
- The annual Norwescon science fiction convention (see http://www.norwescon.org) generally
hosts a range of panels on polyamory. Poly workshops are also frequently
held at the CSPC and Babeland.
- Poly Discussion:
- The sea-poly mailing list (see http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sea-poly/) hosts free-flowing discussion
on the subject of polyamory, and also serves to announce informal poly gatherings which aren't announced anywhere else.
- Emerald City Social Club
- An active social organization for the crossdressing community. See http://www.theemeraldcity.org
- Esprit Gala
- An annual convention for the Pacific Northwest's crossdressing
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgendered Resources
- Seattle's annual Pride Parade and Rally brings
together hundreds of
community and community-friendly groups, and attracts about 100,000 people. See http://www.seattlepride.org for details.
- The Seattle Gay News (the print version of which is published weekly)
maintains a comprehensive event calendar for the local GLBTQ community.
- A resource specifically for gay, bi, lesbian, or trans survivors of abuse is The Northwest Network, see http://www.nwnetwork.org
For Gay or Bi Men
- Gay City
- A remarkably forward-looking organization for gay men. See http://www.gaycity.org
- Northwest Bears
- The term ``bear'' is often used to describe men with
facial hair, a cuddly body, and a solid level of comfort with their own masculinity
and body size. Northwest Bears is one of Seattle's organizations for bears and
their admirers, see http://www.nwbears.com
- Lifelong AIDS Alliance
- Offers monthly workshops on issues such as sex, relationships, dating, intimacy, and safer sex. See http://www.lifelongaidsalliance.org
- The Olympians
- A gay men's nudist organization which has been hosting events
since 1987. See http://www.theolympians.net for more information.
- Romp Naked
- As its organizers put it, Romp Naked is a ``nude, erotic, and sensual gathering of men,'' though
not a sex party: rather, simply an opportunity to dance and
enjoy the feeling of being around other men in a clothing-free environment. Held several times a year. See http://www.rompnaked.org for more information. Note that you don't have to identify as gay or bi to attend: once again, we would like to emphasize that this is not a sex party.
- Rain City Jacks
- ``A non-profit, private JO club for adult men in the Seattle area, hosting
several monthly JO events in a highly erotic, fraternal and sex-positive
atmosphere.'' Their mission statement is: ``To promote and facilitate group
masturbation for adult men, expand our individual sexual awareness,
celebrate the basic goodness of our sexual impulse, and build a culture
of mutual respect and dignity among our fellows.'' See
http://www.raincityjacks.org for more information.
For Lesbian or Bi Women
- The Wildrose
- Seattle's women's bar. See http://www.thewildrosebar.com for details.
- Seattle Bisexual Women's Network
- A very active organization for bisexual
and bi-friendly women which hosts weekly workshops and discussions. They also
publish the quarterly newsletter North Bi Northwest. See http://www.sbwn.net
For Bi Men and Women
- BiNet Seattle
- A social organization for bisexual or bi-curious people and
their partners. They sponsor weekly discussion/support group meetings, one monthly social, and periodic special events (e.g. their annual picnic). See http://www.binetseattle.org. The BiNet Seattle web
site also offers information on the Seattle Bisexual Men's Union (which
hosts monthly gatherings) and Boys Time Out (which hosts monthly gatherings
for bisexual men who are ``married or otherwise interested in women'').
For the Transgendered Community
- Ingersoll Gender Center
- A comprehensive counseling and referral center for those
in any stage of questioning their gender identity. IGC hosts weekly support/discussion
groups, monthly educational events, and a monthly book group. See http://www.ingersollcenter.org
- Gender Odyssey
- An annual conference for the gender variant and their families,
partners, and allies. See http://www.genderodyssey.org
- Anne Lawrence, MD, Ph.D.
Practices clinical sexology and transgender medicine. Specialties
include gender identity issues and transexual women's issues. Adheres to
HBIGDA standards of care. See http://www.annelawrence.com
- Jude Patton, CMHC, CMFT, PA-C
Therapist in private practice, specializing in transgender and intersex
issues, but also providing services to the gay, lesbian, and bi
communities. AASECT certified, and on the board of FTM International and
Ingersol Gender Center. Experienced in referrals for hormone therapy and
surgery, and the associated HBIGDA requirements. See http://www.ftminfo.net/jude.html
For HIV/STD testing and Hep A/B vaccination referrals, visit the King
County Public Health Site at http://www.kingcounty.gov/healthservices/health/communicable/hiv/resources/testing.aspx
206-205-7837 (though most people end up going to the Harborview STD
Clinic, which offers HIV testing as well as the full spectrum of STD
tests, including the Herpes I, Herpes II, and Hepatitis C tests upon
request: call 206-731-2271 to make an appointment).
Reproductive Health and Contraception
A Planned Parenthood clinic is centrally located at 4500
9th NE (see http://www.plannedparenthood.org/ppgnw/).
At various times, the Department of Health (call 206-296-4960) has
also offered free vasectomy programs.
At the time this guide was written, emergency contraceptive pills (special
doses of birth control pills that can reduce the chances of pregnancy up
to five days after condom failure) were available at Bartell Drug stores
without a prior visit to a clinic or physician. The Queen Anne Bartell
Drug location (600 First Ave N / 206-284-1353) had expanded late-night hours. See http://ec.princeton.edu for current details, however.
Counseling and Therapy (in alphabetical order)
- Gaelen E. Billingsley, MA, ABS
Offering relationship therapy, and listed in the polychromatic.com
poly-friendly professionals directory. See http://www.gaelenbillingsley.com
- Rebecca Bloom, ATR-BC, LMHC
Individual counseling for people of all sexuality and gender
identifications, using talk and art therapy. BDSM, D/s, and polyamory
folks welcome. Specialties in anxiety, depression, life transitions, and
PTSD. Insurance accepted. See http://www.bloomcounseling.com
- Joy Davidson, Ph.D.
Licensed as a marriage and family therapist, an AASECT certified sex
therapist, and offering psychotherapy, couples therapy, and sex therapy.
Author of the book Fearless Sex, and a sex advice columnist for several
national magazines. She has experience with a wide range of clients and
lifestyles including transgender, poly, BDSM, and gay/bi. See http://www.joydavidson.com
- Kristen Knapick, MA, LMHCA
A mental health counselor associate who specializes in working with those
for whom kink, polyamory, sex work, queerness, or gender variance are a
part of life, whether the source of a problem or not. She has lengthy
experience with each of these communities, and a non-judgmental
perspective on mental health within them. See http://rethinktherapy.wordpress.com
- Roger Libby, Ph.D.
Lecturer, co-author of the textbook Sexual Choices, fellow of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sex, and board-certified sex therapist. Experienced with sexual and relationship counseling, as well as marriage counseling.
- Genjo Marinello, MA, LMHC
A state licensed mental health counselor with an M.A. in Psychology and a
degree in spiritual direction from the U.B.C. Vancouver School of
Theology, Genjo has extensive counseling and therapy experience with
sexual minorities, including concerns related to BDSM and other forms of
alternative sexuality. As a Buddhist priest and a Quaker, he also serves
as a spiritual director with the Anamchara Multifaith Center for Sexual
Minorities. His office number and e-mail address are 206-328-3944 and email@example.com.
- Ray Robbins, MA, MHP
``I provide thoughtful and compassionate counseling to clients of all
sexual and relational orientations. A great many of my current clients
come to me from Seattle's sex-positive, and polyamorous communities, and I
enjoy helping people with sex and sexuality issues. I am kink friendly
and honor and respect clients working in the sex industry. I am also
experienced in helping others with addiction and chemical dependency
issues. I can be reached at 206-679-0908 or firstname.lastname@example.org''
- Sharon Sanborn, MA, LMHC
Offering counseling, art therapy, and hypnotherapy for individuals and
couples in Queen Anne, Seattle. Welcoming to alternative lifestyles
and GLBTQ. Poly and kink friendly. Insurance accepted. See http://www.seattlearttherapy.com
- Seattle Institute for Sex Therapy, Education, and Research
Providing quality sex therapy to the Seattle community since 1975, staff therapist credentials include ABS certification and clinical fellow status with the American Academy of Clinical Sexologists. See http://www.sextx.com
- Eileen Stein, MSSW, LICSW
A clinical social worker and psychotherapist who works with both
individuals and couples. Nonjudgmental and alternative-lifestyle aware,
her web site also indicates experience in counseling alternative routes to
conception and parenting for straight, gay, and lesbian couples. See http://www.eileenstein.com/alt.html
- Kate L. Stewart, MA
A kink and poly friendly psychotherapist based in Seattle, focused on
working with alternative sexual and gender identified clients and people
who are going through transitions in their lives. See http://katelstewart.com
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